Dear Marina, - ID# 507

Eisenhower

Division: AA

Seven Day Challenge

Entry Description

"Dear Marina" is the story of a girl who tries to combat depression with writing. Marina is the face of depression in many youth today, and she reflects the internal battle that many teens struggle with.

Recent Teacher Comments

Judge 1

Positives: Great use of music to really set the tone! It always felt like it was very fitting to what was happening on screen and really put me, as the viewer, in Marina's shoes. You guys did a great job of showing time was passing. The graphics saying what day it was, as well as the progression of Marina's tone in her writing, really showed the forward movement of the story.

Improvements: On the technical side - The sound quality of the voice over could have been a bit cleaner! I could definitely understand what she was saying, but at times it became distracting that her words were slightly distorted or that the room tone was cutting in and out. You have a few frames of black between your shots throughout the piece! It looks like there is just a frame of black left at a cut point between 2 shots and it was so tiny you didn't see it in the timeline. Nothing too serious, but just a silly mistake that can be easily avoided! From a story perspective - I feel like I needed a little more information all around. I wasn't exactly sure who this person was, which is fine, but I also didn't really get what had motivated her to begin writing or what the stakes were for this situation. The ending was also left way too ambiguous - and felt like there needed to be a bigger build, since we had only ever seen Marina up until this point, but then the ending is about her sister and mom's reaction.

Judge 2

Positives: The use of negative space and soft focus throughout the film was a good way to express the character's mood. It seems like the filmmakers actually thought about how they're going to cover certain scenes, and it worked well in some scenes, such as the one in the library.

Improvements: Eve though some scenes looked great just with the available light (such as the one in the playground), other scenes could have benefitted from more interesting lighting decisions. The editing was too fast and didn't feel right. Too many angles. I think a slower pace would fit the story better. Also, wasn't sure about the ending. It was neither left open ended, nor provided a resolution to the story. It seemed like it just got cut off.

Judge 3

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Judge 4

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