there for you - ID# 500

Maine South
Division: AA
Seven Day Challenge

Entry Description

Most breakups are difficult. Others are devastating. Some can be killer.

Recent Teacher Comments

Judge 1

Positives: From a technical standpoint everything felt really strong! Your audio quality was clean, it was shot really well, and the edit was great! Especially the intercutting between Austin and then Jamie and her friends. Using sound to transition between the two was great! Great choices in music also. Definitely helped to build tension and set the creepy feel - especially when we're watching Austin walk through the house.

Improvements: You could've made certain story elements clearer. He puts the keys back on the ground, but the shot could've made it more obvious that one of the keys was missing. Also, when she's chatting with her two friends, it would've been helpful to know early on that she was over at one of their houses. When Austin broke into her house, I was confused at first thinking that the 3 of them were in the same house at the same time. The mention of Austin's sister felt out of nowhere, also. You just mentioned she disappeared and that he used to call his girlfriend her name, but it sort of felt like a throwaway detail that could've been cut - or would've needed to be developed more if you were going to keep it in.

Judge 2

Positives: The first scene looked good. Filmmaker chose a good time to shoot, so the lighting worked well. The main actress was convincing.

Improvements: The story took too long. Wasn't entertaining to watch and did not end well. Faster editing could have helped the story. A lot of expositional dialogue that was not necessary.

Judge 3

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Judge 4

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