Everywhere You Go - ID# 69

Homewood-Flossmoor

Division: A

Commercial

Entry Description

Commercial for popular pen.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/24 5:35 pm - Great variety of shots. Well written. Editing was very well done. I liked the line at the end "Bic is there to help".
• 4/20 9:55 am - Love the camera movements. It was nice to see the different stories come together at the end with the quick cuts and effects. I would have liked to see a quick shot of the cart attendant using the pen, since there is one for all of the others. The pacing of the video and editing were spot on! Overall, great work!
• 3/8 6:22 pm - SOUND thought the music was a good choice, at times a little hot with the speaker but good STORY The script was well done, well thought out and planned. I enjoyed the variety of characters which kept me intrigued as to what the common thread was between all of them. You did a good job pulling it all together at the end with the quick montage where the common thread became more evident. I must admit though I was a little let down at the end with all the rhyming throughout that your last line didn’t rhyme “Any where you go, and everything you do, bic is there to help”. Help ? you did such an excellent job throughout I was surprised you didn’t put the same care at the end. How about “ Any where you go and everything you do bic is there for YOU”. Just a thought. I still admire your creativity with the script. CAMERA/VISUALS Pretty good shots, I thought the cart guy shots were just a hair long and distracting otherwise I saw some creativity and diversity in your shots. A few of the shots were a little on the dark side, but that is not the biggest distractor, and if your school is like mine you work with what you got and we don’t have everything we wish we did. EDITING Great Pace, loved the montage at the end, which pulled the audience in and made the point more obvious and was creatively done. I wish you would have found a way to round it out to 60 seconds to stick to a more standard time, maybe add just another sequence and shorten some of the cart part (because cart people don’t really use a bic for their job). GREAT JOB I liked the story you told, and the subtle product placement. You might not have all the fancy tools to make a professional looking commercial, but when you do I think your future work will be awesome. You were a great storyteller using the tools that you have. I enjoyed it.
• 3/8 10:04 am - My only critique on this one is the pacing. It would have been nice to see shorter shots with the voice over, but overall, I really enjoyed it. I like the composition, the close ups, the story - nice job.

Judge 1

Positives: 1. Good camera angles & product shots, creates a unique story and easy storytelling 2. Great editing, really enjoyed the montage and the visual cuts at the end of the commercial.

Improvements: 1. The music seemed a bit down, maybe find something with a bit more uplifting ending 2. Showcase more of the human element, when the guy pushing the cart smiled, it made the commercial authentic and relatable. That's what every commercial is going for - authentic relatable content to encourage consumers to buy their products.

Judge 2

Positives: The instances you chose to show where you need a pen feel real and well thought out, and pique some interest (ex: writing an apology, mailing a care package to a veteran.) Overall nice edit and music choice, lots of variety of shooting.

Improvements: This ad could be for any pen - not just Bic. The area where you slice the screen feels a bit gimmicky and not connected to the ad concept.

Judge 3

Positives: some nice camera work! good movement, composition music was good choice good script---liked the rhyming of the couplets. Good AfterEffects/Motion work! effective in 'retelling" the parts you've showed them

Improvements: why music come in late? also need to balance out a bit more with the voiceover. :52 is an awkward final time. Needed to go the full :60--ends abruptly and early Any time you have voiceover, you need to manually fade out every track instead of just cutting the track. at the very end you can hear the noise of the voiceover track abruptly cut off. Use keyframes and fade out every voice track when it's complete.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: