4/23 7:06 am - Music is too loud. Infact, you shouldn’t have it in a news package. Let’s hear the natural audio from the restaurant instead. Good establishing shot of the outside of the restaurant - then it should go to an establishing shot of the inside of the restaurant. No lower-third on the person you’re interviewing - while he says who he is, you can cut that part out and have it on the lower third. Too many shots where the alcohol is the primary focus of the shot. This is a high school news package and while yes, there is alcohol in these restaurants, that should not be the primary focus of any b-roll shot. Yes, it’s ok to have in the background of some shots. But you framed shots so that it was the main focus of the shot (6 times). Not acceptable for a high school story. Balance all of the audio levels. The VOs are not at the same level as your SOTs. Don’t let the energy of your VOs drop off at the end of a sentence. Avoid the b-roll “ping pong” - this is when it goes from an interview shot to 1 shot of b-roll, back to interview, back to b-roll. String more b-roll shots together. Once we’ve seen who is speaking, you don’t have to keep coming back to them. Put the URL for the website on a lower third at the end of the story - when folks both hear and see it, they have more of a tendency to remember it.