Paranoid - ID# 377

John Hersey High School

Dramatic Narrative

Entry Description

Natalie has an uneasy feeling that someone is watching her.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/26 7:05 am - I like the parallel structure between the beginning and the end. Like the shot pulling off of the viewfinder at the beginning. Some nice creative shots Feel like there are continuity errors as you go between the shot from front (standing on right side of tree, vs standing on the left side of the tree when taken from the back. Jump from the house to the school, needed some kind of closure as you move from one day to the next. Loved that she saw the stalker in the background to help clue the audience in to let her know what we saw yesterday was real. The attack at the end seemed a little abrupt and out of place why was she taking the picture outside, it seemed so random. The scream didn’t seem realistic. Loved how the page blew away at the end.
• 4/25 11:32 am - The music helped enhanced the creepiness. The incorporation of photography was done well. It ended with us not really knowing what happened to the girl, if she died or if she is just taken, so the suspense there was good.

Judge 1

Positives: Very nice tracking shots. Nice use of POV shots and inserts.

Improvements: The audio during the opening scene was uneven. I recommend recording ambient sound on location for about 1-2 min without any other sound to lay under the scene. This will help even things out from shot to shot.

Judge 2

Positives: Moves at a good pace. Decent performances.

Improvements: Thin plot. Weak ending.

Judge 3

Positives: Good use of POV shots. Builds suspense well.

Improvements: The ending could be stronger. The sound design could be improved.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: