Tyrese Shines - ID# 425

Lyons Township

Documentary

Entry Description

This is a documentary about Tyrese Shines, a LTHS student and basketball player who has overcome adversity to achieve a positive and abundant life. Music courtesy of YouTube Creator audio library, attribution not required.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/25 8:17 pm - What a terrific story and so well told. Really enjoyed how his backstory was explained. Incredible you got everyone to open up as much as they did and such a compelling human interest piece not only on Tyrese but the family that took him in as well. I really enjoyed this.
• 4/22 3:10 pm - Good story structure on a great doc subject. It built well after the quick introduction of each of the different voices that was harsh and confusing. The different interview set ups and jump cuts were really distracting. The ending really paid off, but it felt jumbled and rushed at times. The basketball broll looked really good- great variation on speed, practice and pre-game action.
• 4/20 2:03 pm - +There's some nice b-roll of him playing basketball and I'm glad you have photos of him as well +story is very strong--good find! -background for interview could be more interesting -use the rule of thirds for your interviews. The interview that is composed the best is the kid with the black background. Other interviews have people looking in the wrong direction or have too much headroom -Interviewees are looking up--clearly looking at the person asking questions--make sure that the interviewer sits eye level with the interviewee -graphics (style, how they transition in) do not seem to fit the mood of the piece.
• 3/5 1:40 pm - Positives: Dramatic titles! Nice use of retiming some of the B-roll to slow motion. Story has a solid closing. Areas for improvement: Lead with a strong opening shot--a jump cut is not a strong open. First clip of his brother with no lower third is distracting and doesn't move the story forward; a few clips are a bit abrupt.

Judge 1

Positives: Very good job using all characters to tell this story. Adds much needed depth to Tyrese's story. Nice job editing each person to help the story flow.

Improvements: The interview shots could have been more creative. Instead of centering each subject have them either left in frame or right in frame. For instance, if you put the father in this piece left of frame, out mom right of frame. Also, find creative backgrounds with depth and have at least one light to help make the interviews look more professional. I would have also liked to have seen more pictures of Tyrese's dad through the years, possibly in the hospital (this would give a face to that part of the story) also, I would have liked to have seen pics of Tyrese with the family that took him in.

Judge 2

Positives: What a great story about altruism! For the most part the musical choices support the storytelling well. This is hard to do. Good for you!

Improvements: Dialogue levels are inconsistent. Please use a volume units meter to check your dialogue levels. The dialogue is constant through most of the movie. Consider giving the audience a break every now and then.

Judge 3

Positives: The story is very inspirational. Great use of stock photos and footage.

Improvements: The composition of some of the interviews did not match the interviews shot against black. If the other interviews matched the composition style or better composition, it would have been a more succinct piece.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: