The Most Durable iPhone - ID# 45

Glenbrook South

Commercial

Entry Description

The iPhone XS is the most durable phone ever... Written permission to use music by De Wolfe Music.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/25 4:33 pm - Very creative story! The overall camera framing is correct and consistent throughout the video and the audio is mixed well. The pacing of the edit seems a bit rushed to fit it all in one minute.
• 4/25 12:10 pm - Works well - Great, simple idea! Cinematography is good. Music helps set the melodramatic mood. Smart that you just owned how fake and cheesy everything looks - it's obviously on a string, but you're not trying to hide it. Needs work - Timing of some edits is not great. Even though your story is over the top, it seems like an unbelievable escalation for the phone to commit suicide at the end. A "fist fight" would have made more sense.
• 4/25 8:18 am - Extremely clever premise and the payoff is fantastic. The use of the "phone voices" works really well. Some of your edits are awkward, but the story is easy to follow.

Judge 1

Positives: good dialog sequences & narrative storytelling. I laughed with the sound design choices - especially the classic dropped phone thud sound. Strong editing - easily followed the story!

Improvements: motion graphics over the black phone screens, while they are talking - almost like the Siri lines when she's responding to a request or waiting for one would have been a nice touch. Didn't expect the final message to be about a durable phone screen cover - that could have been shared earlier in the commercial and reinforced at the end.

Judge 2

Positives: Good job putting together something that pushes Creativity forward vs. simply making a long list of product or service benefits. Absurd or arcane humor can be very effective in advertising. Good job with the automated voices for the two characters.

Improvements: The spot needed to end with a stronger punchline. For example, could "Nick" have said something after he wasn't cracked? Maybe a joke about his heart still being broken? The strings for propping were a little confusing - might have helped to plan those shots a different way so that wasn't needed.

Judge 3

Positives: very cute concept and good storyboard! good camera work, with some good SFX along the way!

Improvements: i loved the SIRI voices--the male one a little boomy and harder to understand... @:33 esp, @:41 at the beginning--the ambient audio a bit much and distracting a tag line at the end wouldve solidified the whole thing--after its not cracked... "iPHone XS--surviving life's greatest tragedies" or something like that--

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: