Rylie Mills' story - ID# 468

Lake Forest

Documentary

Entry Description

He might be one of the top recruits in the nation, but you'd have no idea while talking with him.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/25 8:22 pm - Very well done. Enjoyed how it was started with the broken desk and Ryan telling the story of what happened. You did a nice job of transitioning that into the rest of his story about being a big football recruit and where the passion for him playing came from. Also enjoyed how you interviewed him in multiple places and your use of B-Roll whether it be footage or newspaper quotes was fantastic.
• 4/22 3:15 pm - The audio differences between the studio and the field are striking and the background audio is distracting
• 4/20 2:51 pm - +Glad you have b-roll of him and his brother +Like the idea of headlines moving across screen -I’m glad you are attempting an attention getter, but the desk antidote seems very off topic -I would record audio inside… we can hear kids yelling in the background outside. -Camera is moving back and forth during interview...keep it stable
• 3/5 1:52 pm - Positives: Fun opening; great location for outdoor interview. Social media screen captures work really well to advance the story. Semi-transparent animated headlines are great and add interest. Nice bookend closing. Areas for improvement: Outdoor interview mic needed a windscreen.

Judge 1

Positives: Loved the idea of finding the desk that Rylie broke and having him sit down, react and begin to tell his story. Nice use of tweets and headlines going through frame to help tell this story.

Improvements: I would have preferred to have Rylie stay in the interview location with the desk to tell his story - FAR better sound (never easy controlling outdoor sound), far better lighting (you'll need a lot of equipment to counter balance the sun to make an interview subject look good) Getting another person or people tell different facets of Riley's story would have added much more depth to this narrative.

Judge 2

Positives: The b-roll is effective. The desk scene is well lit.

Improvements: Dialogue levels are inconsistent. Please use a volume units meter to check your dialogue levels across the film. Dialogue is noisy and needs to clean up. The subject talks too fasts and mumbles some words. I don't understand every word.

Judge 3

Positives: The opening worked well. Good use of stock footage.

Improvements: Exterior location audio interview could have been improved. Could have used some other interviews for different perspectives, friends, parents, coaches, etc.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: