Aging in Suburbia - ID# 469
Glenbrook North
Natural Audio News Package
Entry Description
A story shot in 48 hours on an iPhone X revealing the more complex truth behind the lives of many residents of affluent neighborhoods. This focuses particularly on the elderly and the lack of affordable housing available for this growing population.
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/26 7:09 am - Some of your shots were too artsy for a news story and became a distraction to the content of what was being said. I had a hard time gaining sympathy for this person, because I don’t feel like she was a victim of a bad circumstance, she choose to live in Northbrook where it is going to cost more, the problem could be easily solved by moving, so it was hard to feel bad for her, and trust me I know how harsh that sounds but if your story is going to try to tug at my heart I have to see the subject as a victim, and the whole time I am watching the story I just kept thinking, then move to a cheaper community, that could be me someday, and that is what I would do. Your B-Roll didn’t always fit what was being said, she was talking about being poor (after you established the wealth) and yet you just kept on showing big home after big home, I never saw the contrast to the wealth, drive that point home, because that was the point of your story. It was good that you got the interview at the end with the man, because that started turning it into a news story vs a documentary, but at first watch I didn’t catch what his title was, and what level of expertise he brought to the story because he was talking about Chicagoland and not necessarily Northbrook. You had a great topic, and a flair for bringing in the art into a story, just make sure there is a solid story that your audience can connect to, hope you try this again next year would love to see the combination of it all from you.
- 4/25 11:35 pm - *Strengths: 1. Video quality and lighting 2. Effective tight close-up used at the beginning of the piece. The shot taken from behind her with the title of the piece also possesses a captivating composition. Let's see more of these types of shots. *Areas on which to improve: 1. Continue to work balancing your shot compositions. in particular, rely more on the "leading look" and avoid excessive headroom. On a similar note, avoid shots with distracting backgrounds (the electrical boxes behind your subject kept drawing my attention away from her) 2. Find locations and backgrounds that will allow the viewer to witness your subject interacting with his/her environment. Along with the natural audio from this environment, this can be a powerful way to influence the viewer's sense of the people in your pieces. 3. Let the nat sound in your pieces play a larger role in shaping the viewer's understanding of your topic/subject. In this piece, the nat sound does not significantly enhance my sense of this woman and her environment. In some instances, you have shots without any meaningful nat sound (ex. shot of fountain with no sound of the fountain). 4. Because this is an excerpt from a longer piece, I am having a hard time determining how this piece is organized.
- 4/23 2:12 pm - I like the first shot of the story. The framing of the first :25 seconds is well done. I like how you do not show her whole face until the interview comes on screen. Try to layer the audio for a story like this. When you show the water fountain there are times that the audio comes on very abruptly, and that is jarring to the viewer. In editing layer them and then fade the audio in and out to make it smoother. Try to give the subject a breath in between tracks at :46 seconds. Try to move your subject into an area where there would be less background noise on the female subject. Great ending sound. The story is very good, I wish there was more with the organization, and that there could have been more of a conclusion to her story.
- 4/10 3:12 pm - The overall audio and video looks and sounds great, although there isn’t really much room for natural audio in this story. I thought the close up of the woman's mouth during the interview was uncomfortable and unnecessary for the subject matter. The b-roll you used was mostly motivated, but the back to back to back to back tilt ups(0:41-0:55) need to be broken up with other shot choices. The pause(0.56-1.03) in the interview seems a little long and out of place. I think you have some good content here and a good story that could benefit from another resident interview or additional b-roll/sound to help carry it.
- 3/10 11:28 am - NO PARTICULAR NATSOT OTHER THAN BIRDS & CARS & A DOG. FAR LESS TILTING NEEDED. FAST-MOTION WAS INTERESTING. SHOOT C.R. FACING HUGE OUTDOOR LIGHT SOURCE, NOT BEING BACK-LIT BY IT. YOU CAN’T WIN A BATTLE AGAINST THE SUN. GOOD USE OF “OPEN COMMUNITIES” LOGO IN THE CHRYRON. SHOT OF HER WALKING TO CAR MORE EFFECTIVE IF SHE WAS WALKING TOWARD YOU, NOT AWAY FROM YOU. WE NEED HER EXPRESSION. NOT MUCH COMPELLING NATSOT IN THIS PIECE.
Judge 1
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Judge 2
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Judge 3
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Judge 4
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