Local Champs - ID# 518

Vernon Hills

Comedic Narrative

Entry Description

A local table tennis player competes at a tournament to become the best in the whole town. However, when she makes in to the final round, it seems she may have finally met her match.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/25 10:10 pm - Nice camera work and overall structure. You had a nice sense of mimicking the dramatic effect of a sports drama. The narrative was clearly told and the music kept things reasonably well paced. I didn't particularly connect with the protagonist. I didn't really know why she was in this tournament and why she was so driven. I get the money prize of course, but I didn't feel much connection to the protagonist. I didn't really root for her, and I wanted to. I think the story needed an additional element to somehow connect the audience to the journey of the ping pong player. I just didn't feel that. The sound was mixed well considering all of the screaming. The different angles and steadicam work was also good. Work on consistently lighting the set. Some shots of the ping pong opponents varied from a bit too dark to being well lit. I'm not sure why that was. Overall, there was some nice things in this. Keep working.
• 4/19 6:31 am - I liked the many different types of camera angles used in the production. Camera movements were also very well done. Lighting choices were very effective. Good use of music and sound effects. Fun and surprising ending. Very well done!
• 4/10 10:26 am - Liked the "twist" at the end w/table setting, had some nice melodramatic moments. I liked how you used the space to shoot the action, particularly the darkness around the perimeter-- edged up the drama some and allowed the ending to work!

Judge 1

Positives: Camera: Some creative shots. I like that you played with the camera- you had some interesting movement and inventive angles. Story: I could follow the plot. Your visual storytelling (in conjunction with your music) was clear.

Improvements: Lighting: Black Box theater is really hard to light well. I don’t really like most of your lighting, but I think it’s because of your location. Generally simplistic and obvious. Trust your audience a little more. I know that exaggeration can be hilarious, but the all-or-nothing nature of your story didn’t really work for me. The twist at the end with the table setting competition was unexpected, but it was so weird that it felt a bit contrived to me.

Judge 2

Positives: Concept is pretty good. Nice twist with table setting competition.

Improvements: Rough camera work. Lighting can be improved as well. Could be trimmed to 4 minutes to good effect.

Judge 3

Positives: The music choice was spot-on and the editing was great!

Improvements: It may have worked better with just the music interlude and no dialog except the exclamations. The ending was clever but confusing.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: