Coffee - ID# 163

South Elgin

Comedic Narrative

Entry Description

Take a psychedelic trip with this experimental comedic narrative as a slacker student is confronted by what may be the answer to end his lazy attitude.

Copyright Info

music obtained with paid license https://www.universalproductionmusic.com/ (formerly killertracks)

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/23 1:10 pm - Successful - A very simple, yet effective concept - drawing attention to the addictive nature of caffeine through a humorous lens. Really fun aesthetic. Excellent cinematography, editing and graphics. A nice combo of comedy and experimental. Needs Work - A few exterior shots are overexposed. The fact that the opening title has to tell the audience that the film is a comedic narrative is maybe a sign that it's not sure if it is. There is a narrative (coffee drinker wants more coffee, then gets it) but its not very strong as a story. This might actually work really well, with a few tweaks, as a PSA, or of course an experimental film. Not bad, just unconventional.
• 3/6 11:45 am - Some real fantastic editing in this piece. Your work with animation and the way it's mixed with live action is phenomenal for a student at this level. some very clever practical edits and effects throughout as well. As far as The Story Goes, I think some work needs to be done to create a narrative that's a little bit more humorous then this one. I don't understand the premise of somebody drinking coffee and then having a psychedelic experience. When we are creating films, we do want to achieve some sort of verisimilitude in order to connect with the audience.

Judge 1

Positives: I really liked the style in the beginning...especially the "Try It" video on the small screen -- the style of which followed through the first half of the video. Well done over all...very professional.

Improvements: I was left a little hanging in the latter half....it seemed like the style shifted a little bit and the end was awkward. I kind of had a "Reefer Madness" thing going in the beginning mixed with some 60's/70's camp, but it shifted for me and left me hanging.

Judge 2

Positives: Great use of sound effects, composition, music and editing. I'm getting Edgar Wright-vibes from this piece. The concept is great- simple, but great. And all-too relatable. The world you created is bizarre, creative and very quirky- this is a filmmaker with a vision and a well-executed one at that.

Improvements: The color & lighting in the first half is so... tungsten. Some light color-correction would help alleviate that. Because there's little dialogue in the piece, more vfx work would really help sell the 'psychedelic' look you're going for. It's in a good place but would make this far more interesting if more trippy transitions, colors, effects and sounds were used.

Judge 3

Positives: I loved this! Fantastic editing. The quick cuts reminded me of Edgar Wright's style, and that really worked with subject matter - caffeine. The music was inspired, well chosen and did a great deal for the narrative and pacing of the story. The use of graphics contributed so much to the storytelling, and made for a fun visual component throughout. This looked very professional and clean. Clearly there are some advanced skills at work here. I was very impressed. That falling shot that led to the "consumed" graphic was particularly impressive. I very much enjoyed the classic feel and style of the coffee commercial. The lighting in that scene was also well executed. I have been working from home these last few weeks and recently ran out of coffee myself. While I never quite reached that level of derangement, I can still relate to the desperation! Great film!

Improvements: I have been struggling to find any constructive criticism here. I suppose you could have worked a few more colorful gags into this, but it was consistently entertaining. I also wouldn't have minded seeing a tag or something at the end that gave us a little insight into where the main character ends up. That could be fun.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: