Neuqua Boys Golf - ID# 256

Neuqua Valley

News Package

Entry Description

This story was made in September of this year when it originally aired with the Boys Golf team going into the postseason. It was one of the first things I shot this year and I was very impressed with the b-roll. It turned out to be some of the best b-roll I've ever gotten myself and I had a lot of fun with this story.

Copyright Info

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/23 6:01 pm - This was one of my favorite pieces in this category. It gave me a sense of tranquillity. I enjoyed the clean audio, the creative shots, and interview in a controlled setting. If you are an underclassman, I look forward in seeing your work in the years to come. If you are a senior, best wishes on your future endeavors and congratulations!
• 3/16 8:13 pm - Conner, I really liked your opening shot, anytime a camera can utilize an angle that we don’t usually see things at it draws your audience in, and you did just that, the sound was crisp and was the icing on the cake. Beautiful. Generally, I thought your written narration was done well, you didn’t stumble over the words you wanted to say, and what you said had relevance and meaning. In addition, you provided nice transitions into the content of the interviews. I wasn’t totally sure that all the pieces fit together though. For example, Matt talks about the importance of bringing the freshmen into this team, and driving the point home that this is so much more than an individual sport, but then later in the story he says if the team doesn’t make it to state hopefully individually then we can shine – I might be splitting hairs because I understand his point, but it also seemed a little contradictory. Also, while we are talking about Matt, I know I am being a little critical, but his delivery came across as a little down on the freshmen rather than excited to bring them up and include them. It came across a little bitter, like all his senior friends were gone, so now we look at the younger players. Again, I might be overly critical of him, because I don’t know him, his delivery might just be that way about everything and I don’t appreciate Matt like NV does. You talked about the goal of getting to state, and players stepping up and shining, but you ended your story with a congratulations on a “great regular season”, but you never really focused on any of those shining moments or highlighted a player who stepped up and helped this team succeed. It just ended up leaving me with a few unanswered questions, and generally news stories should answer questions, not create them. I hope that makes sense. The sound changed as you moved from the reporter talking to the interviews. The interviews were rich and clean, the narrator had an echo to the recording and sounded like it was in a box, I get that it is because of the microphone change but it became distracting as your story moved in and out of the sound sources. Don’t get stuck on that negative point, because I know at my school we don’t always have the equipment to do what we want. When you have the equipment, you need to do the job it will happen, you are doing the tough part well and that is piecing together the words / interviews into a story. I loved that you left that ambient audio from the b-roll in there, it was never distracting and yet it authenticated your B-roll instead of it looking sterile (without any audio). I know some people don’t think it matters, but I always like it to have a little presence like you did. Thank You :). Finally, your B-Roll, you had a lot of creative shots, that kept the interest of the viewer, but I felt like there were two stories going on, the story the narrator and matt told, and then the cinematography reel of all the nice camera shots. Of course at times it fit, but when you stop and think about a big part of your story being about “team” and bringing the freshmen along the only real shot that visually communicated that theme was the one at 34 seconds, I would have loved to have seen some of those shots of the varsity players mentoring their team mates, rather than many individuals playing golf, making cool shots, and showcasing your creative shots – which by the way you did good, because golf is a sport where the tendency of many of the broll is taken from the backside so you kept it interesting. Just be careful not to let the B-roll drive your story, the B-roll is supposed to instead support your story. Your shots were beautiful, your story telling was good. Put those two together and your next news story will be truly great. Good Job Conner.

Judge 1

Positives: - You did an excellent job with the camera. I love the use of your tight shots and natural sound. - Your story flowed together nicely. The triplet of natural sound at the top was awesome! Really well done. And I like that this story was concise. You got everything across that you needed to in a short period of time.

Improvements: - Try to use your interview location as a way to advance your story. Since this is about the golf team, I would've done this outside and on the golf course. Maybe have a flag stick in the background, or other people swinging at the driving range. You want your location to match your story. The background you used is more suitable for an emotional piece. - While your b-roll is fantastic, you missed the opportunity for better sequencing. The closeups on the ball being struck are great, but I want more shots to show the whole process. For example, different shots could be a tight shot of the golfer's face, a tight shot of the golfer's hands, their follow through, etc. You want to put together the entire movement, and don't be afraid to use more natural sound to break it up. Also, a good ending shot would've been the golf ball falling into the cup. Think about tying your reporter track to video

Judge 2

Positives: Good use of nat sound to open the pkg I like how you kept this short and to the point Good use of natural sound throughout the pkg

Improvements: The interview was shot too tight, so looks a bit blurry Why didn't you interview anyone else? One of the underclassman to expand on the whole team aspect

Judge 3

Positives: -Great use of natural sound to drive the story (loved the sound of the golf ball strikes to start the piece) -Lots of creative shots! Great stuff. It's always nice to see the same character from different angles.

Improvements: -I would've liked to see a reporter stand-up. It's how we establish who is telling the story. -Try to personalize the story to add character. Perhaps introduce Matt at the beginning by showing video of him playing and sharing a little bit of his story, how he got into golf. Then go from there to tell the rest of the story about the team.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: