Offbeat - ID# 265

Barrington

Comedic Narrative

Entry Description

Our hero undergoes a trying journey in preparing for tryouts.

Copyright Info

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/19 11:40 am - Successful - Very nice editing and cinematography. An interesting premise to use the drumming as the driving force behind the narrative. Unified style and aesthetic. Story is clear, even without dialog. Needs Work - Not really very funny... but this is an excellent experimental film (that's not an insult). The frame rate appeared to be faster than 24 fps, which detracted slightly from the professional quality this was going for. The end credits looked unprofessional.
• 3/6 11:36 am - Fairly simple story told in a very cinematic way. Some fantastic camera work here with composition and movement. Overall the story is a montage sequence of somebody preparing for a tryout so in that it does lacked a bit of development. As far as a comedy, this lacks some funny. There's only a final pay off at the end that seemed to be comedic. There was no talking so it's difficult to judge the quality of recorded audio on this one. That's a major part of motion pictures.

Judge 1

Positives: Extremely well edited...great use of sound and matching action to the music. Very well lit, nice rack focus to begin.

Improvements: The beginning leaned a little heavy on the editing and focal effects...started to make them obvious instead of natural. A couple of lighting/balance issues, but overall done well.

Judge 2

Positives: The punchline at the end is quite good! Got a good laugh out of me. The filmmaker has a good grasp of visual storytelling. No dialogue necessary. Good use of music throughout the piece- it added to the atmosphere and helped build anticipation.

Improvements: While the ending was great, there may have been an opportunity to make the film feel more comedic throughout.

Judge 3

Positives: There was some really great editing at work here. I very much enjoyed the quick cuts with the gym equipment and meal preparation respectively. I also appreciated the stylization of the intro sequence. This film did a great job of relying on visual storytelling. Great pacing during the montages, and it all flowed together very nicely. I think the score was very well chosen and applied. The jazz was a nice touch. The character goes through a clear observable change, and the montages were effective in demonstrating that. Overall great work!

Improvements: I must confess that I don't know that I fully appreciated the joke at the end. My assumption was that despite all his arduous physical training he had been selected as a manager, therefore voiding his efforts at the gym. This might've been improved upon by developing a more substantial comedic payoff, in whatever form that might take. I think because this whole film was building to that final gag, it might have been a good idea to scatter a few visual gags in throughout the course of the film to punch it up a bit and maintain the audience's interest.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: