This is a story done on former wildcat Donny Navarro and how he received a full ride scholarship to the University of Illinois after walking on last year.
Illini Productions
Positives: - I love the use of natural sound at the beginning! Capturing that emotional moment is the perfect way to open a story like this. - I also admire the job of telling this story. When your story focuses on one person -- it's almost better to interview people around them. They give better sound. You did a great job of getting both coaches.
Improvements: - Your soundbites were a little too long. Try to tighten those up as best you can. In the industry, you won't see much more longer than :15. - Try to use your interview location and shots to your benefit. Getting Lovie Smith at the podium is great, but the framing was too wide. Maybe have Navarro and the high school coach go to the football field, get some depth of field, etc. Try to avoid interviews in the corner of an office/up against a wall as best you can.
Positives: I liked that you used that nats of the scholarship announcement Good interviews and letting the coaches/players do most of the talking
Improvements: The story seemed a bit out of order. I understand why you started with the nats, because it was the best thing you had. But then you bounced back to high school immediately with the track. I watched it more than once to understand. Why was that girl in your stand up? She wasn't in the track at all. Own your work Interview with the football player was a little blurry Sound with Lovie Smith was a bit hot
Positives: -Interview with Donny was well framed. -Good use of video to tell Donny's story
Improvements: -I liked the opening shot, but it would've been nice to hear the reporter describe what that moment was... to establish the WHAT in the story, by explaining the importance of that clip and how it relates to the rest of the story (example: show video of Lovie Smith speaking, players cheering... then say "THIS IS THE MOMENT DONNY NAVARRO FOUND OUT ABOUT A FULL RIDE SCHOLARSHIP AT U OF I... ) -Try to use more natural sound to tell the story. For example, when showing the video of Donny playing, let some of the natural sound from the game play for a few seconds before we hear the reporter track.
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