Leap of Faith - ID# 42

Glenbrook South

Dramatic Narrative

Entry Description

No-dialogue narrative about an environmentally-conscious character living in a dystopian future (2069) in which the environment has declined. She time-travels to the past and contributes to the climate movement.

Copyright Info

Written permission to use music by De Wolfe Music.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 3/16 7:59 pm - This is one of those stories that I like the concept of, but I find it hard to get lost in because if I was in it I would have done something different, so instead of getting lost in your story, I keep finding myself saying “why”. For example, 2069 seemed so dismal, dark, and sad (nice job portraying that) so when she went to happy 1969, why didn’t she just stay there where flowers were everywhere, the air was clear and times are good? And maybe there was a reason, but it wasn’t apparent to me as the viewer. You have a great understanding of creating environments, even the use of visuals I loved the color and life of the flower in an otherwise completely looking dead 2069. And your use of sound again just really helps create that happy environment of 1969 (although it was a tad loud and, in your face, – but I still appreciated the attempt to detail). I also appreciated your ability to tell a story without any dialogue although it is risky because if your audience misses something (a visual clue), or doesn’t understand something about your character then they have a hard time understanding “what just happened”. For example. Your character was not about self-interest, or doing what they wanted, they wanted to improve the world, but I didn’t really get that at first because you hadn’t given me any clues about who she was or what she was about (other than she loved peace, tranquility, and flowers). I think you tried by showing how horrible 2019 was, but all I got from those scenes is what an ugly place why would you want to go there, I guess maybe a flashback to a poster / quote about being the change you wish to see in the world, would have given your viewers more insight to quality of your character and that way when we see here as an adult the first reaction would have been “ wow she did it" instead of “wait what, oh, that’s her”. Does that make sense? I am sure it was clear to you, I love the concept I just don’t know that all of your audience was clued in (because they are not as invested in the story as you are). Your use of computer effects was pretty impressive and engaging without taking over the video. You did a good job pulling many elements together and using the camera and technology to tell a story.  
• 3/10 11:55 am - Positives: Good job color grading to visually differentiate the future timeframe; special effects pop-up screen from the magic 8 ball for well (although I think the text might be presented so that it reads from her side, perhaps using an over-the-shoulder shot). Areas for improvement: Unclear how this story is resolved as she travels to 2019... When she traveled to 1969 she retained her current age... this didn't happen when she goes to 2019. Seems incomplete.
• 3/9 7:40 pm - SUCH cool editing; great lighting

Judge 1

Positives: Admirably differentiated between the two time periods, 2069 and 2019 (along with 1969 to set up the routine of time travel and the gathering of the flower). Time travel is always a nice subject to tackle, as we are always wondering about what would have happened if we had chosen the other path. Narratively speaking, it's a nice concept. I encourage the film maker to make this into a longer short (as in a 12-15 minute) festival film entry. From a production design perspective, this could do well with just a bit more attention to the details and set dressing, lighting and camera technique. Well done.

Improvements: The 'one trip remaining' could have been emphasized with a close-up to indicate the importance of the trip... and its finality with a good ending showing the 'choices' made by the character. The character could have used some distinguishing trait or element to 'show' she was that same person. This is where the language of film would dictate that we 'see' a subtle (but somewhat obvious) clue. That's why a longer film could show a gesture (putting the hair behind her ear) or an affectation (perhaps a distinctive wristband) of a sort that we, the audience could unravel. The flower is subtle and cute, but such a minor element that we cannot make the connection that readily... I'm not certain how a shot of her necklace was important enough for a 2 second hold on that... without showing it again when she's older. When she holds her little flower in her hand we should have seen a close-up of the flower, as it is important for the story.

Judge 2

Positives: Very simple, yet effective narrative. The use of color grading and lighting helped delineate then timelines. The use of graphic elements was a nice touch.

Improvements: The transitions between timelines was a bit jarring. Using a softer fade in after the hard cut would have helped sell them better.

Judge 3

Positives: Good effects. The AR screens look great. I am impressed that you tried motion tracking. Your project generated an effective ominous feel. The sound track was very clever and supported the visuals.

Improvements: What are ways you can develop the story a little more? How can the main character contribute to the cleansing of the planet? At the end it seems that she has chosen to travel 2019. Is she escaping the dying planet of 2969 or is she trying to change the 2069 environment to something more beautiful and clean? Some of the dark shots are to dark. You can have shot that are predominately dark, but you should add extra lighting to introduce some highlights on the main character while still keeping the overall look the same.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: