A Voicemail - ID# 437
Downers Grove North
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
Dramatic Narrative
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/16 7:52 pm - You have great visuals, I loved all of your smooth tracking shots through the woods. The music was perfect for setting the mood, without getting in the way of the story. I liked how you developed the main character, inspiite of such a simple story, you manage to keep it constantly looking fresh and believable that your main character is evolving. I got stuck on two things that had me wondering what was going on. First, for some reason I suspected that she had died from the start, I don’t know what it was, but I am guessing you hoped your audience just thought it was a break up however knowing she has been dead for two years, I wondered why her voicemail/phone was still active. That distraction of trying to figure that out kept me from getting totally lost/immersed in your story. The second thing I found puzzling or disjointed was at the end when he said see you soon. This young man seemed to have a very mature evolution as he deals/processes this death, but that line suddenly made me feel like he was suicidal and cast doubt on who he had become. You have a knack for telling a story, just be careful not to mislead your audience in directions you don’t intend to. Great camera, work and choices in editing and music.
- 3/10 11:09 am - Positives: Good shot variety & locations to tell the story; pacing is handled nicely; great choice for a music bed, but it needed to be referenced on your submission form. Areas for improvement: Perhaps use a slow fade-in for the opening, with the sounds of the footsteps crunching in the snow. Be sure to list music source to confirm confirm copyright-free or license.
- 3/9 7:41 pm - great storyline; good variety of shots and coloring
Judge 1
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 2
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 3
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements: