Jack - ID# 51

Glenbrook South

Comedic Narrative

Entry Description

This is a comedic narrative about a Youtuber named Jack who runs into troubles when he is asked to prepare for his mother's book club.

Copyright Info

Written permission to use music by De Wolfe Music

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/20 3:18 pm - Successful - Good use of the mockumentary format to tell a story. Great camera work. Great editing and pacing. Some very funny visual gags. Needs Work - Part of the fun of a mockumentary is that it invites you into the personal lives of wacky characters, but sometimes this felt a little too much like inside jokes that weren't funny to outsiders. At times the main character was more annoying and unbelievable than funny.
• 3/6 11:41 am - A funny Mockumentary. The story is simple, but lacks some watch elements. the actor is fantastic in this film and very funny in his portrayal of this character. I'd like to see much more attention paid to the audio in this piece.

Judge 1

Positives: This was very funny and creative...really nice shooting and editing, and very well acted

Improvements: The story started to unravel at the end--needed a little bit more punch at the end and not just rely on the stereotype that establishes it.

Judge 2

Positives: I love the 'rich-kid' bit you play into- adds a layer of comedy that's funny on multiple levels. Speaking of layers, there's clearly a great understanding of what makes comedy: it's the little things. The hoverboard kills me! The character is charming; The camera work is quirkly; The locations are great and add a great deal to the overall production value. The casting isn't lazy; The music keeps me engaged, etc. Well-done. Also, the story is simple but feels real; No one is trying too hard- I believe it. (And kudos for finding, like, a dozen Moms for this.)

Improvements: I'd say the sound is the weakest aspect of the piece- it sounds echo-y for the scenes where our lead is far from the camera, which is weird considering there's clearly a boom-pole being used (also a nice touch). When you execute something with this much effort, it's hard for me to find much wrong with it.

Judge 3

Positives: Overall this was a lot of fun! Great job capturing the essence of a modern youtube personality. I think it also did a great job of incorporating some tropes from reality TV that made for a lot of fun. Jack's sense of entitlement and his overall upper class lifestyle painted a very clear picture and was a constant source of comedy. Jack is a delightful character in general! The camerawork and editing were both very fitting for the type of story that was being told. The music also helped a great deal in keeping things fun and upbeat. The broom gag was great visual comedy. The lettuce centerpiece adjustment was subtle but I personally think it was the funniest part. Great job capturing that moment!

Improvements: I think there could've been a little more substance with the book club scene as that was the culmination of the whole thing. Character development is less important with comedy in my opinion, but I think it would have served the story if Jack had undergone a more concrete change before the end. A couple gags fell flat for me because they might've over indulged just a bit. I might've employed the balancing scooter a little more sparingly. Also maybe a quicker cut with the Nutella bit would've been more effective. Still made me laugh! This is absolutely a nitpick but at around 1:45 the phrase "drama unfold" is used twice. Besides that, this was some excellent work and I laughed quite a bit!

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: