"Hielo" - ID# 566
New Trier
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
A timely tale of the horrors of being undocumented and unwanted.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/16 7:45 pm - Eva and Ariel, I thought you tackled a great topic, but part of the story got lost in the pace, and subtitles. I found it confusing that some of it was in English and some in Spanish, I can get why, but as a viewer I wondered why they both didn’t speak the same language? Subtitles can be dangerous because you need to realize if the viewer is reading them, they are going to miss much of the visuals you try to capture and convey with your camera. I love the line of who flees from their home? Great writing, truthfully, I didn’t think your visuals kept up with the message, this was especially clear when you would cut to black screens which at times can be good for dramatic effect, but you did it too much, and as a result I missed out on seeing the raw emotion of the characters. There were distracting elements with the camera that sometimes took away from your story for example the color shifts when you were washing dishes (about 42 seconds in) it would be bright, but then the color would drop with a different camera angle. If you don’t have access to a lighting kit that is ok, I am a firm believer that is not something that should keep a good story from doing well, however use the camera then or post production to do a better job at matching the different levels so it looks balanced and like it was all shot at the same time. I would have loved to have seen more close ups, especially of faces because then the audience knows what they should be feeling, you tend to shoot the majority of your story with these wider cover shots which are ok, but they sometimes keep you from getting to the point faster because your audience isn’t focused on exactly what you want them to see. You did a nice job of breaking up these covers sots with different angles and editing, however use a tripod because the camera wobble could be seen and was distracting at times (3:40ish) Just as a twist, you might have made a little more suspense if your audience didn’t know who was coming at the door right away. Meaning at first, I didn’t put it all together until about 3/4s of the way through. I thought the house was haunted, or there was a zombie attack, or just some bad people were coming to harm you. Audiences who seek this genre would have fallen into the trap, been scared, and then suddenly realize this is a reality for so many people. I am not suggesting to water down your message or turn it more into an entertainment piece – I mean no disrespect, it just might have been a way to hook more of your audience (especially the ones who want to see immigration laws enforced) and make them realize the terror and fear is more real and not so black and white. Does that make sense? Keep at it you have a great story idea, and in the future, I am sure these elements will come together more easily for you.
- 3/10 10:59 am - DQ: over the time limit. Positives: Powerful story, well-told with an effective mix of English & Spanish; sound effects work well with the black screen to depict ordinary daily life. Final scenes with ICE at the door are very effective. Powerful closing. Areas for improvement: Camera is at times shaky when it should be steady; occasional focus issues. Very unfortunate that this ran over the time limit.
- 3/9 7:36 pm - good story line; good shots; could have used a bit of color correction; seemed a bit more of a political ad at the end than a dramatic narrative
Judge 1
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 2
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 3
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements: