Calamity - ID# 561
Deerfield
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
A student trying to make a few extra bucks takes lands a new job and takes on more than he bargained for.
Copyright Info
https://youtu.be/DiRRfv1Oyt4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImBXJoV8vjg&feature=emb_title https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaOnw_kCcYU
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/16 8:04 pm - So, you do so many things right in this video. Your camera shots throughout highlight for the audience what they should be looking at, what is important, and add an element of creativity as conversations etc. unfold. Your music and sound track again just demonstrates your skill to use these tools to let the audience know what they should be feeling and when. Your editing is also great you never sit on a scene longer than you should, and again you demonstrate your skill in this area, I loved the sequence where he was working on the website in his office the way you so creatively and smoothly showed the passage of time. Great Job ! Camera shots and editing very creative early on the Few things hard to believe girlfriend seemed to know too much, is he that clueless Which brings me to the last major element of your narrative – the story itself and the actors telling it. Between all of your beautiful camera, sound, and editing I found myself finding the character really unbelievable. Like everyone knows from the opening scene that the girl is in on whatever is going on. I am guessing you wanted it to be a twist, but I was never convinced that she was his friend. If the audience can see it, it makes me wonder why the guy couldn’t which then makes me question the credibility and realism of the main character. Again, and then after he gets handed this bag for all the website, I think any normal person would be curious to see what is inside, he just nonchalantly stuffs it in a closet for another day. Isn’t he even curious? And then finally, what did he die for I didn’t really understand the gravity of why he had to die, yes, he was going to call the cops, but as an audience I never saw or heard anything that his life would be in danger. I still don’t fully get it. So, your story and character held back some amazing skills you have (nothing against them, they just need more direction from you). You have perfected the craft, surround yourself with some good script writers so you tell a better story and you will have an amazing piece.
- 3/10 11:59 am - Positives: Nice job showing time passage with the shots behind the desk chair; Interesting storyline, that needs some gaps filled in. Areas for improvement: Natural audio shifts noticeably in the sequence at 3:55; the jump from him looking at a couple of papers to identity theft is a big one that needs more foundation & development to have it create suspense/concern for the main character.
- 3/9 7:42 pm - could use color correction; some of the plot a little slow; good variety of shots
Judge 1
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 2
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 3
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements: