In The Darkness - ID# 593
Back of the Yards College Prep
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
A short dramatic film about a man and a mirror.
Copyright Info
www.freeplaymusic.com
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/16 8:02 pm - This was a hard story to follow because you didn’t really define your character. Is he a jerk that deserved what was coming to him (he bumped the girl at the beginning but his apology didn’t seem sincere because he was smiling the whole time), or was he truly a victim? (because second later we see him walking down the hall looking so sad. So, I don’t know if this is the director not having a vision, or an actor not sure of his character but it leaves the audience not really caring about your main character because we don’t know who he is. So where was he going, it seems so completely random, is he looking for a book or just browsing. I know it is not about finding a book, but I am wondering what brought him there in the first place. Anytime your audience is wondering and trying to figure it out, they are not focusing on the story. I didn’t find the actions of this character believable, for example if you encountered a creepy character out of no where wouldn’t you run, far and fast? He just goes across the hall, and doesn’t really seemed phased. To add to the believability when the evil creature appears in the bathroom with him, he seems to have a smile on his face, shouldn’t I see fear? I am assuming that is what you want your audience to feel. Bottom line, your acting needs to fit with the story. I don’t know if this is a comedy or a scary film. You have a good eye for shots, continuity, and music placement, unfortunately your story(actor) didn’t keep up with you.
- 3/10 11:56 am - Positives: Interesting locations are free from visual clutter that might distract from the story; good idea to use the mirror (good over the should shot!) to create suspense and fear, and the music bed contributes to that as well; camera work is steady, but needs more shot variety & more shots within each scene. Areas for improvement: Need more of a connection to the person who was irritate by getting bumped into in the opening scene-- close-ups of that incident would have established the conflict more effectively. Get your actor to walk at a normal pace--he looks like he's waiting for something to happen (walking too slow). Story needs work.. is the 'ghoul' that's chasing him supposed to be the woman from the opening scene?
- 3/9 7:42 pm - narrative is confusing
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