Neptune - Sleeping at Last - ID# 63

Homewood-Flossmoor

Music Video

Entry Description

A performance piece about loss demonstrated through contemporary dance.

Copyright Info

https://youtu.be/Cxtsm4jLVjk

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/23 7:56 pm - You had beautiful shots, and the dancing was choreographed well. It felt like there should be more of a difference between the two scenes. In the house, have the fighting, etc., and then the gazebo scenes are the dance translation of that. I think that would have played out effectively. You had some beautiful shots and movement. It flowed well, especially in the house. When she walked into the water was where I lost the connection between the house and the gazebo scenes. I really wanted to see how the story played out in the house.
• 3/5 8:15 pm - This was beautiful and I loved how the outdoor scenes were filmed. My only critique is that I am really into the setting of a film. I really didn't like the scene in the house. I feel like it took away from the beauty of this piece. Your setting outside was gorgeous and the setting inside of the house looked cramped and took away from the beauty of your dancing together. I found myself looking at the dishes in the sink and the background more than the characters. Plus because the lighting wasn't as good, I felt like it lost a little of the meaning.

Judge 1

Positives: Terrific costumes. The red dress works so well in terms of storytelling.Th camera motion helps move the story forward.

Improvements: The video needs to be brighter. Some elements are difficult to see. How can the underwater sequences be more clearly motivated?

Judge 2

Positives: Loved the dancing. Underwater shots were very nice.

Improvements: Some shaky camera work. Lighting could have been much more controlled (didn't look like any instruments were used, all practicals or available).

Judge 3

Positives: Whoa. First of all, you've figured out the main rule of filmmaking. Find something amazing and point a camera at it. Your subjects were entrancing. And the camera was the third person in the dance. That shot with the shoji screen in the middle the room? Perfect. And the hand rail dividing them on the stairway? Yes. Here exiting the Fram at the end? Could have read as cheesy but it didn't. Your characters were all in. Loved the underwater visuals layered in. All in all, a very effective story of heartbreak. And from a production design point of view, the rooms were decorated very well. The ravage looked genuine. And your locations were almost perfect.

Improvements: Locations were ALMOST perfect. There was little too much unnatural background in the gazebo shots. took me out of the otherworldly feel for a second. I really can't complain about much here. I loved this video. In the future, you'll have to try harder to keep people engaged however. Work on your stories. Visual storytelling is only effective if the underlying story feels real. You nailed it here, but the dancing did half of your job for you. Mad potential. Keep it up!

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: