Me Time - ID# 161

Homewood-Flossmoor

Dramatic Narrative

Entry Description

Clones are a great way to pass the time and cure loneliness during quarantine. The only problem is spending time with yourself isn't as fun as it sounds.

Copyright Info

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/29 5:09 pm - The story's foundation was very solid - engaging, relatable, and a product of the times. I really appreciate your use of dialogue - this is something many short filmmakers stay away from because it is challenging. I loved the montage sequences. This is such a foundational element to filmmaking, and you demonstrated a strong grasp of how to use it as a storytelling device, editing tool, and comedy punchline. As for the cinematography, your shot selection was solid and your framing was spot on. In future projects, I would suggest some more close ups, but the wide and medium shots worked here. Sometimes, the white balance was a bit off. A definite area for growth is using color and light in general in a more creative and aesthetically pleasing manner. Really believable and humorous acting. Overall, some very creative editing. You successfully moved the story along. There were a few hiccups worth noting, such as the jumpcut at 1:07. However, I must admit that I really liked the creative jump cuts in other moments. Of special note - wow. You did such an amazing job with editing in the clone. Solid job with world building and creating a style. Using text in the real world is an underutilized option, and I really loved the use of the post-it notes as titles. Overall, your text was cleverly used - awesome job!
• 3/10 8:25 am - Love your attention to detail with sound, show your audience the card/note so we know what is going on (especially since it made him smile). I liked the idea, however for having 5 minutes I thought more could have happened you didn’t do much with it once you set it up other than the revelation to get out there and do something. I would have loved to see more personality in your character. Visually it seemed like there was not much diversity in your shots. I think close ups, cutaways etc. would have been nice, you seemed to be stuck on the medium/cover shots for the whole film. You sat on the double shot at 1:27 a little long. Never see Ally (got annoying after awhile), The conversation at 3:11 seemed infinitely stuck on a wide shot. Also after all that time I couldn’t tell if it was a call or facetime Was it important when he opens the door at the end, it just seemed an awkward way to end. Liked the voice effects on the phone the way it seemed differentiated

Judge 1

Positives: • Very quirky, funny concept! The dialogue is great, believable and very funny. It looks to me that you cloned yourself in the edit & played both roles... unless you have a twin? Either way, I'm convinced. Good stuff! • The overall pacing works really well- the way you used post-it notes to transition between scenes is great- very creative.

Improvements: • It would be nice to see the characters form an even stronger bond between each other- to get even closer- learn more about himself through his clone- that way when they part ways at the end, it's even more heartbreaking. • The cinematography could be more thoughtful- I know it's probably difficult when you need wide shots to properly clone yourself- that said, the shots when you're by yourself should compensate for the others.

Judge 2

Positives: The score seems upbeat and active enough to warrant one’s engagement fully at the beginning. The soft jazzy accompaniment works well and provides a sense of exploration and adventure. Be aware that the jazz score is either appreciated as a background, or as the main instrumental. As long as the the filmmaker is aware of the difference, this should be helpful in a nice balance of sight and sound (4:00 - 5:59 sec mark). The premise is very extremely engaging with a cavalcade of interesting scenarios used to explore the idea of another you in your life. The technology covers that basics of a sci-fi and it’s just enough to propel the story forward without getting lost in the high-tech exposition of the story (as it is generally accepted that a cloning machine can deliver another you).

Improvements: The sound recording is very much a tin cup recording; the phone voice is more convincing than the actual dialogue. Recorded scenes should have taken place with more sound absorption materials around the minimize the slight reverberation. The opening of the door sequence whitewashed the camera for a few seconds before recovering its balance (18-23 sec mark); it should have been shot from the exterior showing the David-Original opening the door to receive the box, or white balanced to show a more seamless transition. Lighting relies too much on the 'natural' overhead illumination and it casts a slightly yellow pallor to the overall scenes. However, the scenes that allow for natural daylight to seep in shows a color balance more comfortable for the scene. When it comes to Production Design, the sticky post-it note does not convey the schedule adequately. A nice, thick sharpie marker (a nice black, high-contrast note on the post it note) would have been a better solution. Placing it on a calendar would have worked more successfully. The split screen magic is nicely accomplished, but lacks any interaction between the two; it would have been nice to see some popcorn being shared from one frame to another. Simply insert a clip showing someone passing something, and the other receiving the item.

Judge 3

Positives: The performances are solid. I appreciate the effort for the VFX shot. Those are really hard to pull off and it looks ok. Good for you!

Improvements: When you shoot with white walls, please make sure they are clean. Actually, when you shoot in a home, please make sure it's relatively clean. I found myself looking at the dirty kitchen and wanting to get those dishes done. That distracted me from the story.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: