Incompatible - ID# 247

Highland Park

Dramatic Narrative

Entry Description

In the near future, where overpopulation is rampant, Todd struggles to pass his compatibility test in order to avoid being sent to The Country. Music includes original score produced by the students and no copyright music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCCbD1LtoA0 at 1:27:13

Copyright Info

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/30 9:09 am - Solid and compelling story. Very well-thought out and clear. Like all good sci-fi's, the story is an allegory for so many things. Nice work. The cinematography is fantastic. It is certainly at the collegiate and film festival level. A clear grasp of all of the major cinematography concepts. Lights were visible in the reflections of a few shots, but it wasn't too noticeable. Excellent acting and direction. Super minor, but I wish he made the final expression just a tad quicker. Then there would have been a better indication that he and the girl are about to converse. The specificity of this critique speaks to how well made this is. Excellent editing. There are some truly great cuts, especially in the transitions. At 3:58, I would try cutting to the match action at 4:06. This might hide the hand-on-the-chin jump cut and help with pacing. Again, the specificity of this critique speaks to how professional your edit is. Like all great sci-fi, you have created a coherent and believable world made up of different rules. Reminds me of "The Lobster." Nice job. This is very well-done. I cannot wait to see more of your work.
• 3/10 8:27 am - I really liked the premise, something unique and fresh, it drew me in, and it was over before I knew it (that was good) I teach my students to tell a story with editing, camera, sound, and acting, I felt like you were hitting it on all four great job! Just a few suggestions. You do an excellent job using natural sound to help advance and enhance your story, you really do. But there are times I wish there would have been a subtle sound bed underneath. Not throughout the whole piece, but there were some scenes, that were just a hair uncomfortably quiet, and I was a little on edge not sure what I should be feeling. Silence in film is really great because if forces your audience to focus on the details, but there were to many of those moments of silence and as a result the cool effect lost its effectiveness, some music underneath some of those moments would have enhanced those silent moments more. I am not sure if all the silence on your part was intentional or you just were not able to find the music bed you were looking for. I think you have a great sense of location, your opening shots of the office downtown, and I love at the end where he has to move to the country you can see the house is empty, BUT…. when he was exercising, he was exercising in an empty family room (see fireplace in background) I would have flipped those two locations because then I would have felt like he was working out in a home gym, not an already empty family room. It would have been more dramatic to see an empty family room with the fire place and no furniture – it would really give me the sense that he is going away and not coming back.. Also just one other minor mistake, does this character only own one pair of socks? All three times he got on the scale he had the same pare of socks on and the lighting/look was the same, if you want me to get the feel that this transformation has been over time, tweek some of those details. Overall nice job, again, love your attention to sound detail. Finally your opening shots with Sam, had such a different look from the rest of your film, which isn’t necessarily bad, but it came across as cheesy, at first I was wondering if this was a comedic narrative. Again, it wasn’t necessarily bad, but it set a tone for your piece that didn’t reflect the quality of the rest of your story.

Judge 1

Positives: • Excellent story, vision & execution of that vision- on a budget, you really nailed the sci-fi, futuristic, dystopian look & feel. From the VFX to the isolation you conveyed. You put in the effort here and it clearly shows. Well done. Keep it up & you'll go places. • Casting choices were great- the announcer in the opening, the lead character- and his physical transformation (insane!)- all convincingly done and great for the story development. It felt quite real.

Improvements: • There's not much to critique here but I'd say the character's reaction at the very end could've been a bit stronger. For example, he seems to move on from his conversation with her quite quickly- perhaps if he responded with a question for her, something to show that he's finally found a connection, instead of looking away and smiling...? It's subjective, so a number of choices could work there. • The ADR work is a tiny bit off at times, which I noticed, but it's not a huge issue- you're off to a solid start with it.

Judge 2

Positives: The opening image for the city by the Chicago Art Institute and the exteriors downtown (near the Barnes and Noble store) were very effective. They seemed more cinematic than other sections of the film. The image of ‘Sam’ strolling in front of the brightly lit window was an effective scene, as was the image by the trains at night. The lonely, inexorable journey amid the sodium vapor lights was very telling emotionally.

Improvements: The monologue scene at the beginning sounds like the segment is in need of some serious audio enhancements. Cinematically, the quality of the drone shot over the city is different than other sections. It would be good to find the images more compatible in the future. The screen images should be more direct and fully framed; no need to show the information from an angle as it is information used to propel the film forward. The girl at the end of the film should be a bit more engaging as to give a more hopeful end, while the image of the woman behind the protagonist seems a tad distracting. The camera frame should have obscured her image.

Judge 3

Positives: The performance is solid. The editing moves the story along at a brisk pace. The do's are well recorded and the use of music is effective.

Improvements: The opening commercial does not look slick enough to be believable. Why an ivory background? It washed out the talent. It also makes the lighting look cheap and garish.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: