OFF - ID# 253

Hillcrest

Dramatic Narrative

Entry Description

In a world overridden by technology. Harrison, an 18-year-old teen is introduced to a guru who may change his fate forever. Music credits: Dewolfe

Copyright Info

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/30 9:19 am - Love the story and how you used it to demonstrate your editing skills. The cuts between the off and on world were always fun and very well executed. So much of the cinematography was beautiful - especially the color photography. There were some shaky handheld shots that pulled me out of the world. Almost everything was gloriously well-lit. I'm not sure how many lights you used, but nice job. The acting and directing were great. Keep up the good work! The editing effects were awesome - especially how they directly tied to the story. Great choice of music. Some birds chirping and outdoor sounds would have further added to the magic of the real world, but overall, excellent job. Solid job building a world with its own rules and magic.
• 3/10 8:28 am - I really loved the concept of this video, I just wished there were things you did differently to implement your message. For example the music you use when you go in and out of the reality almost sound menacing, or scary which is ok, but then when he gets to reality it is void of any sound, which makes it feel weird and awkward, and if you are trying to convince your audience that this is where they should want it to be it should feel more welcoming. Also, I would have loved to see the main character enjoy the phone free place more, give me some close ups of his face where you can see that he has those awakening moments where he realizes it is not so bad to be without his phone. Assuming this is a PSA to put down your phone and turn it off, make this alternate universe look more appealing. I can totally see joy from the girl waving at the end, I would love to see the main character buy into turning it off too I get a glimpse of it at the end, I guess I would have liked more emotion from him the first few times.. Excellent use of color effects, I would have loved to have seen him take a walk and the further he walks away from his phone the further he notices the world around him, not so much just the nature. But the joys that they are missing from the day to day. However, there were no patterns to latch onto (when he got away from his phone) so I didn’t know what to expect, For example when you put your phone down, you see the world in color, but then how come at the end while he was on his phone did the flowers suddenly change color, or his sweatshirt start to glow, and then when he put down the phone and left it the sweatshirt did glow, but no where near as bright as when he was holding the phone. The message was inconsistent and as a result the meaning I thought I was seeing was wrong. I also didn’t find it believable that he would just set his phone down on the sidewalk, what high school students would do that, It would have been better if it got bumped out of his hand etc. Again great concept, Love the risk of telling a story without any words, and I love that it wasn’t overdone where you felt like you had to use the full 5 minutes to make your point, just be more intentional with some of the shots you have.

Judge 1

Positives: • It can be difficult to successfully execute silent films these days- I love that you all were up to the task- you did a good job telling a succinct story visually. • The 'switching between worlds' edits are cool- nice use of color (and B&W) to emphasize the different realities these characters live in!

Improvements: • This could've been longer and more clear. You have a good concept going here, but the story isn't conveyed strongly enough to draw me in nor keep me very engaged. • There was a lot of opportunity for more sound design/SFX, but it wasn't taken. It would have really increased the production value

Judge 2

Positives: Excellent use of a Black and White narrative coupled with Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. The drama sets up an emotional challenge from the very start. This is very much a short film concept as Pleasantville (1998) and offers an entirely different way of experiencing the world from B/W to Color. This reviewer appreciates the simple, yet effective way that color is introduced gradually, and incrementally. The step into the world of nature (in its fully resplendent color), from the monotonous interior of the artificial (man-made kitchen) at the end of the visual journey is satisfying and complete. As short as it is, the visuals are an effective device for showing a narrative journey that is not only evocative, but memorable

Improvements: The cut between the B/W worlds into Color for the very first time (the sign person with ‘This is Reality’) could have been better planned so that the scenes are perfectly replicated, including the direction of the two as they are transported in the more ‘natural’ surroundings. The direction of the two could have been the same, with a possible reveal of where they have ended up. It was slightly confusing, with only the hand gesture to indicate one of the people. Some more lighting (practicals) in the scene for the home environment could have been used to light the scenes; as they are all monotone, the interiors could have been more artificially lit up. Another film to recommend would be the film, Avalon (2001) by Mamoru Oshii, where gamers live and die in a sophisticated game play scenario where a death-in-the-game is real and final (it exists in B/W). For those who complete the level play, another level above brings the player into our own reality (and in full living color). Whereas Pleasantville (1998) distinguishes between the real world (color) and the TV world (in a retro-nostalgia driven B/W), Avalon (2001) distinguishes between the world where game play is a matter of life-and-death (in B/W) and our reality is in full color. What is interesting is that, in Avalon, there is yet another level above our own reality that you can experience IF you can complete the game play in our own reality.

Judge 3

Positives: 1:50 Very effective soundscape! The pacing is solid. 1:11 This image its beautiful and well earned.

Improvements: Please try to avoid iconic pieces of music in your soundtracks (Beethoven C# Minor Sonata). It often takes the listener out of the narrative. Heartbeats are not the most creative ways to build tension. Please try to avoid this cliche. Why not show a world overridden by tech? There is not much tech shown in the movie. Shouldn't it be overwhelming?

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: