From Above - ID# 317

Oak Park River Forest

Dramatic Narrative

Entry Description

A sci-fi drama short

Copyright Info

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/29 4:42 pm - Magical, clever, and moving. You've managed to make a short about imagination and free-will in just under 5 minutes. The ending was both expected and delightful. I really enjoyed this. The cinematography and color grading were very impressive. I could hardly tell when it was a drone shot and when it was the other camera, and that is no easy task. You shot it with both intention, and it always looked aesthetically pleasing. Also, a really great variety of shots without being over the top. Excellent work. I forgot they were acting, and what more can I ask for? They were emotive without ever speaking. Some could say that this short could have been elevated with dialogue. However, short films are about working with your strengths and staying focused. No dialogue worked. Nice job. The editing was flawless. Like the acting, it was emotive as well. The cuts between the toys and the real person worked extremely well. Next time, challenge yourself to use audio. I missed the sounds of the car turning on at 2:18 and the river flowing at 3:10. If the audio connected the cuts, this could have added to the magic. From an artistic standpoint, I fully support deciding not to use audio besides music. From a festival standpoint, it has to be taken into account. Audio is one of the hardest parts of filmmaking, and other students who even just tried to have a professional audio mix receive bonus points in my book. Still, overall, outstanding and flawless edit. You made two worlds that eventually melted into one world. All of it was coherent. The world building of this short was truly impressive. This was a true work of art. Next time, challenge yourself to use audio. Your skills are immensely promising and I want to see more of your work ASAP. Fantastic job.
• 3/10 8:23 am - Use drop shadows on your title so parts of the title don’t get washed out. Love that a whole story was told with just your visuals and music you did a good job of it. I will admit though there were times I was wondering where it was all leading to, not necessarily a bad thing but give me those backstories, the girl is lonely (looking at another couple at the beach so your audience gets a clue that she senses something is missing). If the story is about the boy and the girl meeting, I would have loved to see some of the emotion on her face. Does she know what she is doing? Is she getting lost in the moment? Happy, Sad, etc. I just never understood Why she was doing it. Also would have loved the connection that the girl was at a beach in Chicago (establishing shot) so your audience can start putting it together and aren’t necessarily surprised at the end when they end up at the same spot. Your music was a good tool to help tell the story (although I will admit I kept trying to figure out if What child is this at the beginning was an important part of the story or not). Also, I would have loved some more natural audio Music change at 3:46 was a little rough, almost as if something was about to go wrong, but it doesn’t. You had some great camera shots (nice drone shot while walking down the path by all the windmills) and saw that your camera shots were filled with intentionality for example the lead room on the jeep while driving through the city. Love the humor at the end (turned the wrong way), but I would have loved the girl to smile at the end. Audiences love a happy ending and the look on her face could have said so much.

Judge 1

Positives: • I love the concept and your use of match-cuts to best convey it- everything flowed together really well. The cinematography in general was thoughtful and a solid effort throughout. • Your use of music & sound design elevated the film in a major way- good choice of music from beginning to end. The sound effects helped to make the production value feel high- almost theatrical. Well done.

Improvements: • The ending felt a bit flat to me- the story built it up so well- I get that they meet at the end, but a better understanding of their relationship would better serve the story. Are they siblings? Strangers? Long lost friends? Those small details help the audience empathize and relate to the story. The 'waving' moment at the end was nice but not strong enough. • There was a moment when two of the songs overlap- it's distracting and briefly took me out of the story. That's the tricky part about sound design- if executed well, it goes unnoticed; It should be precise every time. No room for error.

Judge 2

Positives: The narrative elements are well combined to deliver a very effective sci-fi story of two people meeting in a manner that is not only magical but also cosmic. This reviewer was impressed with an economy of storytelling without the loss of the emotional components that propel the story forward. The title, 'From Above,' is apt. The narrative story is compact and succinct with just enough of the components to make the entire film story a satisfying visual journey. Nothing seems to be forgotten and the arc of the journey looks like a nice chapter in a series of shorts. The two characters are bound by a universe that is constructed by the 'girl' and the 'boy' is the participant in the real world situation traveling over hill and dale (well, no hills; this is Indiana/Chicago after all). The opening of the narrative was seductive enough to engage the senses fully and completely. The quick edit from the pinwheel to the large wind turbine was indeed very effective. The car scene was perhaps the most seductive as the scale of the real car was almost the same as the toy car being driven in the sand. Quite successful.

Improvements: The Production Design elements could have been a little larger; the scale of the avatar could have been a tad more (perhaps 1/4"=1'-0"). The 1/48th scale seems a little too 'slight' to make it visually appealing, but this isn't that much of a criticism as it is a fervent wish to see the smaller people be larger in the frame. The music sonorous and soothing, however, a more quirky score might have made the journey more of an adventure. At this stage the journey seems to be too 'contemplative' for the visuals. The reveal at the end when the boy arrives at the coast could have used the drama and majesty of the current score exclusively (4:02 - 4:30 sec mark) or from the entirety of the last minute (4:02 - 5:00 sec mark). One scene this reviewer would like to see would be a view of the little figure's POV up to the girl... superimposed with the boy's POV up to the heavens, as if looking up towards the heavens for answers to life's questions.

Judge 3

Positives: The story is well edited. I clearly understood intention and the visual semiotics. Solid performances for a film with no dialogue. Well shot as well. Great idea for a narrative.

Improvements: 3:37 Has a jarring transition in the score. It sounds like a mistake because it is. Usually, you can't effectively transition from one piece to another with a crossfade if they are in different keys. Using two of the most overused pieces of music in the western canon (Greensleeves/What Child is This? and I Vow to Thee, My Country/Holst's Jupiter from The Planets) took me out of the narrative. It's distracting. Did you get the rights to this music?

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: