Poms Changes - ID# 16
Glenbrook North
News Package
Entry Description
As Glenbrook North's Varsity Poms team heads to competition for the first time, it brings some potential drawbacks for the dancers.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/29 8:48 am - Great nats open, and the shots keep moving. I love how you brough 3 different nat pops into your piece. It keeps the flow nice and makes it sound purposeful. You clearly understand the value of nat sound in your package. You also have a very strong voice. Your lead into the first soundbite was great as you didn't say "we talked to...or here is Ms. so and so". The split shot was such a creative idea. I love how you had so many short interviews and balanced facts with emotion.
Judge 1
Positives: - I think the writing of this story is pretty great. It's clear you understand the merger, why it matters, and you demonstrated how people feel on both sides of it. Good reporting! - I like how you included bits of natural sound to help tell the story. Dancers are always in tune with music. Smart choice in using some of that!
Improvements: - It's clear you got a lot of performance video, but I think you could've really done much more just by filming a practice. You need more of a variety in your shot composition. At a practice, you can get a variety of those wide, medium and tight shots. This will help the pace of your story even more. - Some of your interviews are out of focus. Just double check in your camera next time, even as the interview is happening, to make sure they're in focus.
Judge 2
Positives: Love your strong start with a good nat pop. I like that you were able to showcase a variety of dances from both teams. I like how we got to hear from the dancers and how this will change their lives
Improvements: You don't have to pause at the end of every sentence in your track. It sounds like you're leading into a nat pop or a sot, but you're not. If it isn't obvious who is speaking, then you need to tell me in your track. At :28, I eventually saw the banner saying it was the coach, but I had no who was speaking and why they mattered to the story. Your track at 1:49, why will they look different? "Not worse, just different" is not a fact. It's an opinion. Don't tell me what you think, let the coaches explain that.
Judge 3
Positives: -Good use of nat sound. -Narrated well. Good mix of reporter track with interviews
Improvements: -would’ve liked to see a reporter stand up -personalizing a story is a great way to capture your audience’s attention. Perhaps you could’ve started the piece by focusing on one of the dancers… explaining the dilemma they’re facing by having to choose a team to be a part of. Then, you could break out the story and explain why she’s in that predicament.
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements: