Service Adventures - ID# 192
Wheeling High School
Comedic Narrative
Entry Description
The adventure of trying to find service in school.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/5 10:37 am - I can imagine what you envisioned and I'm sure in your head this was a funny idea, but this is a great example of why planning on paper and working with a team is really important. This just never went anywhere and each scene wasn't building on the next, simply just watching someone walk around. Regarding the camera work, try other shots aside for wide-medium shots. Not only will it help your audience keep attention, close-up's and wide shots help with comedic elements. Using an up-close shot is great to show someone's frustration. An extreme wide shot would show just the lengths this kid has gone through to find service, only to be totally isolated somewhere desolate. Your audio work needs natural audio. Hallway shots should include the sound of the hallway. A video that takes place in a school usually starts with a bell ringing or ambient teacher instruction heard off-camera. The lighting is good, though you might not have had enough light had you included close-up's, so be prepared to implement lights that aren't already present in the scene. Finally, your editing, as noted above, needs some changes to match both the intensity of the music and to hit that comedic tone. Right now, your editing is done in isolation of both the humor and the music. It should be a marriage of all ideas and elements coming together. You all took on an ambitious category, so I applaud your effort. Just keep making movies and trying new, creative, and sometimes more difficult approaches, you'll find that little changes make big differences. But first, be thoughtful and plan ahead. On paper, I think someone would found that this piece doesn't evolve from one beat to the next. Keep at it Team!
- 2/24 1:41 pm - STORY: “Adventures” would imply that there was something more than a boy holding up his phone in 4 different locations trying to get a signal. You definitely needed a lot more location variety and situation variety. This could have been a hilarious montage where it begins with him simply holding his phone up in a few locations, then he just gets more experimental, using cables, aluminum foil, a metal spoon, or other ridiculous implements. The ending was disappointing and anti-climactic. CAMERA: All of your shots are shot at eye level. This is boring. You need to use different angles (high angle and low angle), as well as a wider variety of compositions (extreme close ups, close ups, medium shots, over the shoulder shots, point of view shots), and even camera movements. This just felt like I was watching someone recording another person lazily moving around with their phone. EDITING: There were several jump cuts, and not in a good way. More shot variety would have helped you with the edit as well, to make a more effective montage. Instead, the pace of this video is brutally slow, even though the whole piece is less than a minute and a half. LIGHTING: No additional lighting other than whatever was present in the locations. AUDIO: Sound was limited to a song. Some “natural” sound of each location would have been good, some lines of dialogue from the main character to explain why they desperately need to get service would have helped drive your story along.
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Judge 3
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Judge 4
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