Dr.McFaul, Life Coach - ID# 211

Barrington
Comedic Narrative
Entry Description

Parody of Progressive Commercials starring Dr. Heath McFaul. You are not your teacher!

Copyright Info

Recent Teacher Comments

  • 4/27 9:18 am - This was a lot of fun and definitely a successful nod to the Progressive commercials. The writing was great and the shots were a lot of fun. I applaud you for working so well with a broad range of actors and using the camera effectively to find the reactions and humor in each situation. Some audio mixing needs to take place when the background audio track boosts but overall the voiceover and actor lines came through loud and clear. Keep up the great work!
  • 2/24 2:56 pm - STORY: this was an effective parody of the inspirational video. You really captured all of the tropes and quirks of teachers. The fact that you had so many examples is what made this successful. CAMERA: So many effective shots and examples! Everything was in focus, everything was framed nicely. Consistent focus and composition. EDITING: The pace of this video was spot on! Very consistent. LIGHTING: Lighting was appropriate; a few dark spots where you could have brought in a bit more lighting. AUDIO: The audio was solid. Primary dialogue and voice over was clear. The music bed choice was so perfect for this piece, but the levels in the mix seemed a little hot at times.
Judge 1

Positives: Excellent use of comedic setup --> example. "You don't have to ask for an ID when they obviously have an ID" This is solid - when possible, we don't want to use a humorous bit once, we want to repeat it a few times for effect. Great tone from the Lead performer - his patient, life-coach vibe goes a long way to making this an effective parody. Good performance, good dialogue.

Improvements: The tag at the end - "just because you go to school doesn't mean you have to become your teacher" is solid, and is lightly articulated by the Lead performer. But - it would benefit to have this point made more clearly and precisely at the top of the piece. I feel the audience would "slowly get" the idea of this piece as it progresses, and think it would hit harder with the audience if they were give this premise earlier and more concisely. Part of the implication of this parody is that students are doing the job of teachers... because no one else is? The teachers are not? This is implied or suggested, and I think it could have been elevated as a 2nd major push of the parody here.

Judge 2

Positives: The premise for this sketch is hilarious and very well done. When making a sketch a lot of younger creators sometimes complicate the story but often, such as in this case, simple is better. The audience quickly understands what you are going for and the twist right at the top of the piece lets you really dive into the game of the sketch and play. The examples you give are fun and relatable making it an enjoyable watch not just for students within your own high school, but anyone who has ever gone to school. The camera moves that reveal the teacher in each of the situations are really great! They're very smooth and he comes in perfectly on cue in order to really hit the joke lines. Also, great working on the music choice and the letting the audio come in during some of the b-roll to help the piece keep moving.

Improvements: The sound mixing at points is a tad inconsistent. You may be able to fix this by recording a bit of room tone and just dropping it throughout most of the piece. The ending shot on the book with the text I think could be replaced with a better video button instead. You have done such a fantastic job of creating this amazing character and as a viewer I really am so interested in seeing more of this world/him. A simple close up of him saying that same line might do the trick and be more powerful. At the very least I think you could add audio of him reading the line there.

Judge 3

Positives: This was a fun take on that Progressive commercial series about people morphing into their parents, and it really captured the essence of that very well! Not being privy to the inside jokes unique to this school, I can only imagine that this would be a huge hit there and a blast for everyone involved to make. Great work! Almost all of the gags were very straightforward and effective, but I particularly enjoyed the laser pointer and the teacher that spoke with his hands. These are both things I've encountered in my own education.

Improvements: Since this was approached more as a spoof of an existing commercial series, it was lacking a bit in the story department. I think if you had Dr. McFaul experience some sort of change by the end of the film it would solidify a story arc. Perhaps he could find himself behaving like a student, or get schooled by a student acting as a teacher. Additionally, some of the dialogue could be tightened up/punched up a bit to get some extra jokes in there, and not repeat the same messaging the same way.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: