The Treasure of Regnum - ID# 259
Neuqua Valley
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
When the power goes out, two siblings find a way to pass the time through using their imagination.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/28 6:01 pm - What works: I really enjoyed the creativity of the story. The combination of the narration and the dialogue is seamless. The light coming out of the treasure box was a nice touch. Everyone did a good job acting. The outdoor footage is properly exposed. What needed work: Overall, the sound design is well made. I appreciated all of the sound effects. However, there is a hissing sound throughout. A quick way to reduce this in post is to add the DeNoise effect in Adobe Premiere. The indoor footage is grainy. A way to have improved this would have been to still light the "dark" scenes and then have darkened them in post-production instead. Ending credits would have been a simple way to allow the audience to sit in the story for a moment longer. Final thoughts: This was very fun! It was a creative and entertaining short – impressive for only a minute and a half.
- 4/28 9:28 am - Works Well - Great concept and fun style. Clever editing. Almost feels like “The Princess Bride” in its tone. Interesting cinematography and locations. Needs Work - The ending feels too abrupt, especially without credits. To be honest, this feels like 2/3 of a complete story because its so short. There’s also a missed opportunity at the end for the younger girl to choose to read more of the story instead of play video games. That would accent what seems to be your point and add a little more runtime.
- 4/27 2:42 pm - This is a nice and genuine story that I truly enjoyed watching! I think your sound was pretty great. It could use just a little bit of work. Most editors agree that your overall audio level of your audio mix (all of your audio combined) should fall between -10db to -20db (db = decibels). I would also suggest using J and L cuts. This is where you layer your audio track on different tracks. You then extend the beginning and ends of each track so that they blend into each other. Sometimes these J and L cuts may not work depending on when your audio starts and ends. You have a great variety of camera angles and shots. I think one thing that could really help your camera shots is lighting. Some scenes are well lit and others could still use some work. I like how this is edited together. I think cutting back between the characters and the adventurer works well! Opening sequence - Once the lights go out, the frame is still a little too dark. I think adding in a light and dimming it could help with that. I know the intention here is to make it seem like there is no light since the power went off. But it is still difficult to see the characters as they talk. 0:26 - I would suggest using a tripod here. Placing the camera on a tripod gives you more time to think about the shots, and slows you down (in a good way). You get more time to think about the shot that you are filming and you can really think about techniques (rule of thirds, golden rule, how is the lighting affecting the frame, white balance, etc). 0:36 - I like how we transition from the story being read to actually seeing what is happening with the story. This is a great shot, the lighting is just a bit harsh. It’s tempting to shoot outside, but you need to keep in mind where the sun is in the sky. Usually you don’t want to shoot in the middle of the day. Lighting is usually really harsh then. That’s why around sunset (golden hour) we get soft lighting because the sun is not directly above us. 0:41 - You chose a great setting here! I love the variety of colors! 0:46 - The lighting here is significantly different than at 0:36. 0:52 - I would use a tripod for this shot! 1:29 - Great framing here! I also like how you use the light as the box opens!
Judge 1
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Judge 2
Positives: Loved the creativity with the way you told this story. You interlaced the narrator and characters in the fairytale beautifully. Whoever played the character in the fairytale- I wish this was longer because you would play the character big and as a viewer I think it would be very fun to watch.
Improvements: I really wish there was more to the story. As soon as I felt invested in the character in the fairytale it ended. The outside shots looks really good. I wish the interior shots matched better. The Exterior shots are so bold and dramatic.
Judge 3
Positives: the addition of the music with the "story" shots worked great and the way you used the natural sound underneath was perfect. i like how the little girl created the ending of the story and the mystery of what was in the box
Improvements: i think the audio felt hollow in the scenes with reading the book, not sure what mic you used for it but just felt like it wasn't completely crisp I think you could have done more with the story. have both characters give different versions of the story and give the viewer a chance to make an interpretation of the two
Judge 4
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