The News Package (short film) - ID# 353
Deerfield
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
A simple school news story goes off the rails in this short thriller. MUSIC: "Cinematic Documentary Ambient" -esoundtrax: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLe9DeFf1hY "New Background Videos for Videos, TV, and Radio" AShamaleuvMusic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uoc-FiwMD4 "Dark Tension Rising Music Download and Royalty Free" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Msxo2LMLPyU&t=2s "Best HD Cracked Broken Screen Effect" -Prank Possee https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CouGcNKICc&t=918s "Static Sound Effect (White Noise)" -EffectsLibrary https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwnBDjTqp8A
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/28 9:14 am - Works Well - Great concept that starts out funny and takes a dark turn. Many people wonder about mattress stores and this adds to the mythology. Excellent locations and set design. Very good acting of a well-written script. Nice cinematography and lighting throughout. Clever idea to start and end with a news story. Great ending. Also good use of costumes.Needs Work - The shot with the camera over the actor’s face is very distracting. Some of the white balance is off in the interview scene. The cut to color bars and the distortion effect doesn’t make sense and feels a little amateur when this film is otherwise very pro. Maybe his hand could have block the lens as their voices could be heard, or the camera falls over and the action happens offscreen? Add some credits at the end.
- 4/27 1:58 pm - What needed work: The sound was inconsistent. While it was always intelligible, it was far from clean. This took away from the interesting story and compelling camerawork and lighting. The ending felt a tad forced, but overall, I really enjoyed it. I would suggest putting more thought into the "why?" The conclusion did not make logical sense. What worked: Very clever premise! It is so important for a short film to have a unique idea, and this was an excellent one. The camerawork and lighting was very ambitious and impressive. I also greatly appreciated the filming on location. The extra effort to scout for quality and relevant locations is essential, and you did a fantastic job with this.
- 4/11 1:47 pm - Really great job on the story! I loved the plot as well as the character development that we see. You also have some really great camera shots. There is some really great use of lighting to convey a lot of different emotions. I think your edit has a great pace. I especially loved the flashbacks once that character was tied back in the chair again. Overall, this is a great short film! You did a great job getting different camera shots from different angles. You had some really creative lighting and editing (with the flashback). See specific feedback below: 0:15 - I was very pleased with the audio here. These are two different settings that you are transitioning from and you still kept the audio at about the same level. 0:31 - When we move from that package to the character walking into the room for the interview, we hear an audio change, specifically a “hum”. There is background noise. I’m not sure if it could have been the audio/room tone in the room. I would suggest recording room tone, and then layering that over your previous clip and using a J and L cut with that audio. This helps make it sound less drastic of a change in audio noise. 0:41 - I think it would’ve been great to have both characters mic'd up here. You could have utilized a boom mic here. Maybe that would help with the room tone as well. 0:45 - The audio noise grows here. Sometimes adding a DeNoise effect may help to get rid of that high frequency noise. I think having your characters mic’d up here would also be beneficial for sound 2:38 - It would have been nice to have a mic on your character. Even if it was a boom mic here. We don’t really get clear audio here. 1:05 - The camera blocks the character’s face here. I would slightly push the camera to the left so it is on the left side of the frame. The character can stay on the right side of the frame. 4:11 - When your character moves his hands we see that shadow on his face. I know that this lighting was the intention here, but make sure that you watch for shadows! 4:53 - Again, it would be nice to have clearer audio here from the character speaking. You could have used a boom mic here (or a lav since it is a pretty dark frame).
Judge 1
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Judge 2
Positives: You did a great job tricking me. When I first clicked onto it I expected a typical news show. Instead I got a well crafted and rather dark story. Always keep the audience wondering. Whoever is the director of photography- If you are interested in doing this in the future I encourage you to continue. You have knowledge and talent to craft some beautiful frames.
Improvements: The audio is not consistent throughout. The levels were off. To fix this- record audio externally and get the mic close to talent. I wish the two characters played off each other more in the interview.
Judge 3
Positives: well told story, easy to understand and follow and the part about not tying him to the chair actual made me laugh nice variety of shots and the way you manipulated the lighting between locations was excellent
Improvements: i thought there could ahve been more setup for the brainwashing portion so if the guy wouldn't have asked about money laundering would he not have been taken hostage? and then you said it was part of the plan, felt a little disjointed.
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements: