Reflecting Hybris - ID# 387
Maine East
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
A senior in high school interested in pursuing film begins to realize the harsh reality of his future situation. All music courtesy of YouTube royalty free music selections.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/28 2:51 pm - Works well: The opening dream sequence is a great intro that establishes the characters goals and motivations. The silent-film-style music during the opening montage was a nice touch. I like the video overlays for the memories at the 4:08 mark. Overall, the shots were well exposed, and the acting performances were impressive! Needs work: I like the SFX/filter used during the fantasy moment at the start of the short, but I think it should be dialed down just a little bit to look less like an obvious filter. During the dialogue sequences, there is a bit of audio hum/hiss. Adding the denoise effect in Premiere would help remove this issue. A few shots were out of focus. I appreciate that you color graded everything, but some of the shots were over color graded. The lead actor was perhaps too dismissive of the other characters. If he dialed back the sarcasm just a bit, it would have been easier to empathize with his struggles. Final thoughts: The foundation was strong, just a few more dedicated people on set and a little more time spent smoothing out the dit would have gone a long way. However, overall – good story, interesting choices, and nice work!
- 4/28 9:26 am - Works Well - Great concept and topic for a high school film. Nice sound design and use of music. Filter effects look good without feeling forced. Creative editing choices to add style. Needs Work - There’s a few distracting autofocus changes that take away from nice shots. The silent film scene felt like a confusing shift in tone until it was explained earlier. Maybe turn it black and white and remove any sound effects like the high five? The ending felt like a very dramatic buildup, but ultimately didn’t work. What happens after he smashes the glass? He needs a followup action, not just reflecting.
- 4/27 2:05 pm - Really great opening sequence. This really helps reveal a lot about the story as well as your character. Great choice! I think your story works well throughout your film. We really get an insight into the character, their goals and downfall. I also like your editing. You added in different effects that I really think help your film. During the dialogue scenes, there are times where I thought we linger too long on a shot, and that we could cut more often between the two characters that were talking, even if we were just to see their facial expression. You have some great camera angles and shots, but I do think you could work on your framing and camera technique overall. I mention a few comments about this below. You could also improve upon sound. Audio is not always my favorite to edit, but is important in a film. Overall, great job! I really enjoyed watching this! Please see my comments below: Opening sequence - I like how you added in the glowing effect. It really does make it feel like the Oscars and more “hollywood-like”. I also like the music and the SFX you used here. It fits well with the mood! 0:30 - White balance (WB) removes unrealistic color casts, so that objects that appear white in person actually look white on video. Our eyes are very good at judging what is white under different light. However, cameras can have a hard time with auto white balance (AWB) which can create blue, orange, or even green color casts. WB deals with color temperatures. Usually daylight is 5600K (blue light) and indoor lighting is 3200K (yellow light). To WB your camera, you can put a piece of white (usually paper) in front of the lens and set your camera to the correct color temperature. It does take some practice! 0:59 - You have an abrupt focus switch here. I’m not sure if this was auto focus, but you could have used manual focus to do what is called “rack focus”. This is where one subject in the foreground is in focus, and then the full focus shifts to a subject in the background or midground and vice versa. 1:08 - I really like this shot! I would suggest giving the character a bit more head room. 1:30 - Audio noise starts here. To lower this, I would suggest using J and L cuts. This is where you layer your audio track on different tracks. You then extend the beginning and ends of each track so that they blend into each other. Sometimes these J and L cuts may not work depending on when your audio starts and ends. 1:33 to 1:50 - The shot on the teacher lingers too long here. We can cut between both characters even when the other is talking to get a reaction to what is being said. I would also re-frame this shot using the 180 degree rule. I would also place the teacher more on the right side of the frame rather than being center-framed. 2:44 - I would re-frame this shot. This shot would be great if the character was framed on the left third of the frame instead of being on the right. Why? Right now there is no lead room in front of the character. It also looks as if this was done on purpose because someone may sneak up behind him. 3:47 - I like how we start to hear the soundtrack here! 4:12 - Great job editing this montage! I like how you incorporate the flashbacks. This works really well! 4:28 - Be careful of that auto focus shift!
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