Life's Algorithm - ID# 395
Deerfield
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
A YouTuber's shoot goes awry - but clarity will arrive on the set. Music: Drone Beats 3, Epidemic Sound, license through subscription
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/28 9:21 am - Works Well - Good variety of shots. Fun script and clever ideas. Well-done editing and effects. Good sound design. Needs Work - It feels like this is a comedy story at heart, but the overdramatic music fights that. The story is very interesting and timely, but sometimes comes across as too preachy. Parallel universe Bob seems to have strong opinions and inside info about online habits not in his life, which is hard to believe. It’s clear where you were going with the ending, and you follow a good story structure, but how the main character gets back doesn’t really make sense. Bob says “K”?
- 4/27 9:36 pm - What works: I really enjoyed the play on "Back to the Future." Your twist on the story is timely and unique enough to make for a compelling remake. The music choices and SFX added greatly to the suspense. Your shots are well composed. Overall, the editing comes across as intentional and well paced. The hard cuts at 4:09 and 4:26 are especially effective. It was a clever decision to film everything outside. I am not sure if you used any lights, but the exposure and lighting throughout was very solid and consistent. You clearly have a good sense of how light works and how to utilize it to tell a story. Lastly, both actors did very well. What needs work: If the story was still in the writing phase, I would suggest straying away from the plethora of "Back to the Future" references. A few are funny, but the amount you use borders on copying. Also, while anyone that has seen the original will understand them, to other audience members, it may come across as confusing or unrelated to the story you hope to tell. Final thoughts: The energy and tone throughout was well directed and edited. The short is fun, engaging, and cleanly made. You clearly have a strong grasp of the craft. Keep up the great work!
- 4/14 10:21 am - I think you did a great job with the storyline here. It’s very interesting and I enjoyed watching this film! Your soundtrack mix coming in and out was very well done. I didn’t think that it was too overpowering at all. I will say that some of the audio could be cleaned up a little. You don’t want your audio to be too loud or too quiet as this can distract your audience at times. Most editors agree that your overall audio level of your audio mix (all of your audio combined) should fall between -10db to -20db (db = decibels). Audio can also depend on what conditions you’re filming in. It may be hard to get rid of wind noise or any other background noise. When editing, I would suggest editing and listening back to your whole audio track with headphones (You can even listen to your whole mix without watching the video). You had a great variety of camera shots and angles. I mention below where you could have used more head room. There were a few shots that were just slightly overexposed and out of focus. I like a lot of the drone shots. The help establish where we are and where the character is going. And they also help transition into different clips! Overall, most of your shots were lit well. I have a few comments about lighting below. Editing was also done very well. There was a great pace and a lot of your sequences were well done. Sometimes it is hard to keep the pace of the video especially if you’re switching between time (ex. Future, past, etc.). But you managed to do a great job with this! 0:14 - This is some pretty harsh sunlight on the character's face. 0:34 - This shot is just slightly overexposed and out of focus. The lighting in this shot is also pretty different from the next clip. Not only that but it’s definitely less saturated. 0:35 - After the character faints, we see him get up in the same clip before we see him get up in the next clip. I think we shouldn’t see him get up till that clip at 0:37 because then we are physically in his “dream” into the past. Otherwise if he gets up before we cut to his dream it kind of seems like, “oh he just got up”. 0:42 - This is a great shot! 0:55 to 1:03 - Harsh wind sound here which makes it a little hard to hear what is being said. Towards the end of this clip, the audio also seems super quiet. 1:58 - This is a great shot. I would suggest giving the character a little bit more head room here. 2:09 - I feel like at this proximity, the audience would still be pretty close to the character. I would suggest making the “hello?” a bit louder here. The sound at 2:18 makes more sense since we are super far away from the character. 2:24 to 2:34 - Lighting changes drastically from 2:21. I'm not sure if this was done intentionally to show the passage of time into the next scene at the house. When filming the same scene, make sure that your lighting is consistent with what you’ve already filmed before. In this clip, the character is sitting on a park bench for what seems like a few minutes trying to figure out what’s going on. I don’t necessarily see a need for a change in lighting. The done shot at 2:36 helps show the transition into nighttime. 2:57 - It is hard to hear what the character from the house is saying here. 3:51 - The sound does not match the video here. 3:54 - There is also some kind of audio “pop” here. 3:59 to 4:04 - The dialogue here is super quiet/muffled compared to the other character. 4:15 - There is another audio “pop” here as well.
Judge 1
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 2
Positives: Amazing drone footage at the beginning. Lighting on the protagonist is really good in the low lighting. I know its really difficult to get right. Great job.
Improvements: Be cautious of your compositions. There were some where I couldn't tell if it was stylized or not. When following a subject- bend the knees and walk heel to toe slowly trying to keep your upper body as still as possible. It will take some practice but will help make tracking shots smoother.
Judge 3
Positives: I like the idea of how people spend more times on computers and in the virtual world than in the present. I thought you shot selection was great and loved some of the banter between the characters.
Improvements: This story is too complicated to fit into 5 minutes. You basically solved the mystery of how you went to the past on your own -- which isn't the typical formula.
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements: