Dani Friedman - ID# 42
Glenbrook South
Documentary
Entry Description
Documentary featuring elite youth hockey player, Dani Friedman. The story follows Dani's beginnings with the sport, challenges being a female in a typically male dominated sport, and battles through injury.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/26 10:02 pm - KEEPERS: Very well done documentary that ends on a somewhat somber note. You did an excellent job of working with footage from Dani's past via both cell phone videos and photos. You used this broll to great effect. The two-camera interview set up worked well and outdoors in late summer/early fall was a great choice. Sound was very well mixed and balanced throughout.
IMPROVEMENTS: My colleague mentioned some specifics in edit. I'm more curious about the story. While I appreciate what you wrote, shot and edited, to me the real story is what you cliffhanged. The real conflict is the injury. Now what? It would have been interesting to have followed Dani to a rehab session or a training session and to get her perspective on her recovery and what that might mean for her hockey future in college. Perhaps this wasn't possible. But it could have made for a much more compelling documentary and it would have allowed for you to combine the excellent broll you already have with contemporary footage of Dani at work in rehab, on skates, etc. Overall good work!
- 4/25 1:18 pm - Great overall production of a documentary. I think your compilation of b-roll was very useful and impactful for the Documentary. The audio used was also a great touch for portraying the emotional feeling you wanted your audience to have. I feel the image b-roll choices were necessary, but I felt there needed to be more fill-in behind the images so omit the black background. Traditionally this can be done by placing the same image or video behind the selected image/video, and then you can zoom it in a blur it out. This can make the b-roll more effective for your audience and increase the production value of your video.
Judge 1
Positives: Nice natural lighting and good use of your two cameras.
Nice job getting the older pictures and video of Dani.
Improvements: The real narrative of this story is "...Just because I'm a girl that doesn't mean that I can't play hockey." We need to find a creative way to use that off the top instead of 1:42 into this piece.
This piece feels like it has more than one ending and no real closure. A viewer needs an ending, closure. I would have tried to keep your focus to Dani's determination to prove that anybody can be a great hockey player regardless of gender.
I would also have liked to have heard from a parent, coach or friend more about Dani - it's important to have more than one perspective.
Judge 2
Positives: Good use of "vintage" footage. A compelling story of the challenges of being a girl in a boy's sport, and the editing of the main character. Good story pace.
Improvements: Ah, it ended without a resolution. I am left wanting more. What happened to Dani? I might suggest less headroom and a bit more variety in the shots of Dani.
Judge 3
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Judge 4
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