What’s in Town!? - ID# 424

Riverside Brookfield
Natural Audio News Package
Entry Description

My entry features a local business in the town of Riverside, Illinois. This business named Sips & Sweets, is a recently opened cafe in downtown Riverside. I interview the owner of this business, Krista Brazel, as well as an employee, Nina Montero.

Copyright Info

Recent Teacher Comments

  • 4/10 2:16 pm - Good establishing shot at the beginning. I really enjoyed the focus of this story, but felt there was more you could do with it to better fit this category. In the first sound byte, she's talking about a place where folks can go to hand out with their family and friends. After that, we should hear some of the natural audio from a shot of the people hanging out - with the audio up FULL. It shouldn't just be the sound bytes that tell this story with some natural audio in the background. The natural audio should be an integral part of telling that story. Instead of pictures of those other 2 coffee shops, shoot actual footage of those places. Let's hear more of the natural audio of them making the various items. Bring that audio up for 2-3 seconds so your viewers get a better feel for this place. Let's hear the sound up full of the whip cream going on the drink. Let's hear conversations between the employees Let's hear the audio up full of the blender. That's what makes this category stand out from a regular news package.
  • 3/14 9:44 pm - I thought this was a good story with a great backstory that generated interest in this shop. However I would have loved a little more B-roll to draw me in. Show me more of the cinnamon roll shots to wet my appetite and make me want to come in and try some things. Show me a shot of various drinks that could be ordered, pan over the menu. In addition the owner talks about how she wants this place to be where people can come to hang out and feel a sense of community, but you never really showed me people sitting back and relaxing in this environment enjoying one another, getting work done, etc. You needed more of those types of shots – especially since that is what the owner was talking about. That really fits with what I want to say about the interviewer, I saw way too much of her, show me the shop, the food, the environment she is talking about. When you do show B-Roll the pace seems really fast. Some of the shots are just too quick, and it wasn’t like you had to squeeze so much in, it was like you were hurrying up to get back to the shot of the owner, when you didn’t have to. I loved that you interviewed Nina. She really offered a perspective and angle that the owner didn’t mention (or could mention) and that is this place is a little bit like family, traditions of people working well together and enjoying what they do. It was a nice touch. However, when you move from interview to interview (59 seconds) make sure you leave a little bit of space between the two so your audience gets a chance to digest what they just heard from the owner and then give them a chance to switch gears to a new topic this could be done with b-roll, or a sound of a expresso machine something to give closure before the next scene starts up. Which leads me to the last part I would have loved some more intentionality of incorporating some sounds from the bakery ( you did submit this in a natural sound category) You had some sounds in there they just didn’t jump out (the whip cream at 1:01, the mixer at 1:14, the wisk scraping the bowl) You know how to tell a good story, just use the tools at your disposal a little more and it will be amazing.  
Judge 1

Positives: Nice variety of shots, especially the action shots. High quality audio throughout, both the natural sound and the bites.

Improvements: It's a story about baked goods... so why start with an exterior shot and a sign? Start with the good stuff... the food. Watch the shaky video. Try to make it steadier.

Judge 2

Positives: Good audio quality, microphones were close and cords weren't visible. Nice framing on interviews.

Improvements: Unmotivated camera movement. Right off the top was like video whiplash. Rather than ping-ponging from SOT to Shot, cover interview with B-Roll. Tell the story through shot sequences. Let the viewer see people doing a process. Break up the process into shots. Shaky images are distracting.

Judge 3

Positives: 1. First interview does a good job of setting up the story and context. 2. Really interesting and well composed background for the interviews. Great pick!

Improvements: 1. It's awkward to see the first interviewee looking over her shoulder to speak. She slowly turns to face the camera in the next few shots, but don't be afraid to really show them how to sit and where to look before starting. 2. Good variety of shots, but I would have liked to see them edited together in a coherent sequence. Take me through shot for shot a woman making those delicious cinnamon rolls for instance. I saw a shot of mixing, a shot of raw cinnamon rolls and a shot of cooked ones, but they were all out of order and not sequenced together. I'd like to have seen more intentional use of b-roll.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: