This is an animated comedy film by GBN Animation Studio. They had a crew of 12 animators work together on this production.
Positives: Great classic structure. Meet the characters, into a magical world, work out the issues, head home. Well done. Same with the relationship - nice arc. From a standoffish, confrontational beginning, through conflict and teamwork, to a different relationship at the end. Nice work.
Improvements: The nature of the conflict inside the game could have been better developed. The idea that "you should choose peace" was introduced when they first entered the game, but seemed to be mostly tossed aside at the (stabbing the snack in the head didn't seem to line up with the need for a peaceful outcome). It was good and necessary that the brother and sister make amends and partner with one another. That said, the moment when they chose to do so didn't feel entirely earned... they were in a cave, and angry, and then... just kinda set aside their differences to have a heart to heart. To be clear, that's what needed to happen, but the moment needed something to trigger it or cause that moment to be necessary.
Positives: This story was SO well done. The formatting of the script, the themes you managed to tackle in under 4 minutes, the characters you developed. It truly felt right out of the gate as if these characters were each fully fleshed out. Each had wants, goals and even transformations within themselves and their dynamic. Then the world that this team created both in story and animation was so enjoyable. From beginning to end with the dragon in the cup button this was such a great piece. Script wise one of the most imaginative and well done in the category. I also am a huge fan of animation and to watch this was so cool. I really liked the shot of the characters when you spin around them to reveal they're in the game. Very impressed by all of the animation though.
Improvements: The sound mixing in this one could use another pass. It peaks at points when there's yelling and can get echoy and that can distract the viewers from the great story. The editing is a bit slow at points and sort of messes with the pacing of the piece. For example, specifically when Mila gets hit by the dragon if you had a shot of him talking to intercut with her going to punch the dragon then getting tossed, that would really help that segment. That being said, once you get into the character's plan, that editing is well done!! Also, a very specific note. At 1:43 your characters switch what side of the screen they're on. Might be a simple flipping a shot fix!
Positives: This was a really impressive achievement, as animation is no small feat! Collaborating among 12 animators is really inspiring! I'd be very curious to learn more about how it was made. Great use of the anime style emotional cues. Ultimately it was very satisfying being able to witness a concrete change in Colin as he changed his attitude to his relationship with Mila. Well done!
Improvements: While this is a fantastic little film with an overall lighthearted tone, I think it could use a few more jokes to fully qualify as a comedy. You were getting there with Mila making fun of Colin's nerdy interests, but I think you could punch that up a bit and have her really go in on him. Colin would become increasingly bothered by her indifference to his passions, and it would ultimately serve the overall plot. Again, you were basically doing this, I was just looking for a bit more. Additionally, I think it would have helped the overall viewing experience if you'd added a few sound effects at key moments like when Mila is struck by the creature she was supposed to make peace with. There are a few free sound archives online that would have pretty much whatever you need.
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