The Waiting Room - ID# 82
Glenbrook South
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
The Waiting Room is a dramatic narrative following the journey of two childhood friends and the breaking point in their friendship. Both Bob and Tim change over time and strongly hold onto their own beliefs which eventually pushes their friendship to break apart. As Tim reflects on his own decisions he begins to feel regretful for how things ended with Bob. Written Permission from Epidemic Sound
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/28 9:16 am - Works Well - Great-looking cinematography. Interesting locations and set design. Cool lighting in the screening room. Good music choices. Fun twist at the end. Needs Work - The story concept was interesting, but felt incomplete. There was more exposition than things happening. The tone shifted a bit from scene to scene, which made it feel kind of like three different movies.
- 4/27 2:02 pm - Clever, compelling, unique! What needed work: The argument scene outside has a lot of wind noise. A deadcat windshield may have been able to resolve this. I know it is an extremely involved solution, but if this was something you wanted to submit to professional festivals, you would want to reshoot this scene to get cleaner audio. Another option is ADR (automated dialogue replacement). However, ADR can sometimes be even more work than a reshoot. What worked: I especially appreciated the acting and dialogue. A lot of student shorts avoid such involved dialogue, and this really brings your short to another level. I also love the hook of the story and that it deals with high-level concepts, such as mortality and afterlife. My favorite cut in the short is when you cut to the projector light at 4:42 – it is perfectly timed, impactful, and serves as a solid transition to the final image. Overall, the editing is excellent. It does a great balance of "showing off" cool and creative techniques, while also being clean, smooth, and professional. This combo is ideal for a festival submission because it both demonstrates creativity and a mastery of the craft.
- 4/11 2:51 pm - Love the story line! It caught me off guard at the very end. It’s definitely a story that caught my attention and that I liked watching. You had some great use of lighting in the very last scene to make things super dramatic. It worked well! I do think this film has great pacing. Below I do provide some feedback on editing. It was evident that you were shooting outside with wind, but your audio was still audible. Great job with the edit on that! You had a variety of different camera angles that you used which shows your creativity. You also had a great choice of music throughout your film! Opening scene - I’m not sure if you did some heavy audio editing, but it sounds great. I noticed that there is some wind so great job covering that up! 0:04 - Great framing here! You have a great use of leading lines that lead your audience straight to your subject. 0:20 - I think this shot is okay, I would like to see something more at an angle, with more lead room in front of the character. So if you think of the rule of thirds, you would place the characters slightly farther back on the left third of the frame. Right now, it seems like the character is almost framed center. Make sure that you’re paying attention to the background too. It looks like there is a line going straight through your character’s head in this kind of shot! 0:59 - This is a great shot! I love the set design as well. I would do one thing differently leading into the next cut. I would have the next cut at 1:02 zoomed in even more. Right now it seems too much of a similar shot and is a jump cut. 1:06 to 1:10 - Not much of a serious error, but when cutting from shot to shot pay attention to how your actors look. In 1:06 the actor on the right has a different position that in 1:10. 1:14 - This is done so well here! Great use of photos and a time lapse to show the character relationship. It’s great that you used the same framing (which is what makes this so good) This works so well! 1:25 to 1:35 - Great use of the 180 degree rule. When switching back and forth both characters were not on the same side of the frame (which is what you don’t want!). One thing I would suggest here is to hold the shot of someone talking. Then when the other character talks, don’t cut to them until we see some kind of emotion on the character’s shot that we are holding. This will elevate this kind of edit so that it is not just cutting back and forth between two people. This can help add in emotion and helps the audience learn more about the character from their reactions. You could apply the same thing at 2:13 too! 2:26 - You can still understand what is being said by the characters in this scene even though it is pretty quiet compared to the rest of the film. It does sound like an effect was used here. I understand the circumstances with the wind here. I would recommend using a boom mic with a windscreen/windjammer. This may help you get better audio without the sound of wind coming over the microphone. 3:58 - Again, be careful about the actor’s position. Bob has a different position here than in the frame before. Make sure to watch that! The lighting in this shot also looks different than the previous shot as well. 4:23 - Great use of the camera shake in these shots. It makes this part of your film more intense!
Judge 1
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Improvements:
Judge 2
Positives: Great concept- really liked the ending. See improvements for more. When you were using lights you had good ratios on their face. I saw details and they weren't blown out.
Improvements: I was already invested in the story between Tim and Bob. The ending seemed a little out of place given we went so deep into their relationship. During the timelapse I wish the background objects changed as well to show even more passing of time.
Judge 3
Positives: i like the idea of the "waiting room" and looking at what people are saying about you before you pass. excellent lighting and sound mixing throughout
Improvements: im a little confused about why the guy was being interviewed about a dead old friend, you could have set it up differently, especially with the ending and the video file. could have showed the "dead" kid candid clips of him missing him rather than an interview clip
Judge 4
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