Bittersweet. - ID# 155
Homewood-Flossmoor
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
A story about a young man named Andre who lost his best friend, Jay, and is coping by writing a letter to him and spilling his emotions in the process. Along with going against the grain of time, Andre is learning to process and accept fate as it comes, ending a beautiful story in a 'bittersweet' emotion.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/1 1:40 pm - Story: Overall your story is very well thought out. I like how we are seeing the different things that the character was writing/talking about. This makes the message of your film very clear. Sound: 0:11-0:12 you can hear where the background noise cuts for the voice over. This is super nit-picky, however, if you haven’t already, using J and L cuts can help hide most of your audio cuts. The “noise” you hear in the voice over recording is room tone. You can record room tone and layer that over your audio when the voice over cuts. This helps make it sound less drastic of a change in audio noise. 0:54 You can hear a word being cut off in your voice over here. You did a great job layering audio from videos in the flashback with your voice over. Camera: 0:19 I am really happy with this shot! You framed it in a way that doesn't make it distracting, especially with the fact that you have the window frames going through the whole frame. 2:21 I love this shot! Great composition and great use of leading lines here! You demonstrate creativity and skill with your camera compositions! Lighting: You used lighting effectively. Even if you didn’t have a light, you used the surrounding light in your setting to help light your subjects. There are some scenes (such as 1:17) where I feel some light could have been added to keep the picture from looking too flat. Editing: Love what you did at 2:06 with the flashback videos and how we see that old film effect on the screen. Overall your editing had a great pace to it. Nothing felt rushed.
- 2/24 2:08 pm - There was great attentional to detail throughout, from making sure that the narration thematically matched what was shown on the screen to the decision to start the narration before seeing an image to the final moment between Andre and Jay – even the orange title matching the warm color grade of the piece. The story was thoughtful, compelling, and heartfelt – it had an effective balance between mystery and clarity. The acting was genuine, he pacing of the edit was professional, and the composition/camerawork was superb. Although the interactions between Jay and Andre felt very sincere, the moments where we could see them talking but not hear them were a little awkward. It is not a major criticism, but I feel that we should either not see them talking or we should hear what they have to say and allow those moments to exist. Seeing someone talk but not hearing them feels like a music video with audio that doesn't match. 2:01-2:19 - For this moment, the dialogue and the narration were competing. It was difficult to hear or focus on either of them. I would suggest either keeping it consistent and not playing the dialogue or pausing the narration and allowing the moment to exist. Also, as much as I am sentimental for the old-fashioned Super-8 filter, it does not match the time period of the piece – something to think about. Overall, excellent work. Short films live on a spectrum between video project exercises and serious, heart-felt works of art. Your work was deeply moving and sincere. Your voice comes through clearly as an artist and the technical aspects highlight that voice and enhance it. You should be very proud of this film.
- 2/23 9:58 am - Camera: nice shots, competent framing and composition. Clean camera movements, especially in the early scenes walking through the library and walking down the street. Lighting: It looks like you used the available lighting in the locations where you shot and did not bring in any additional lighting. In some cases it was fine, but there were a few sequences where some additional lighting would have made the clarity of your image better. Even in scenes set at night or intended to be dark, you still need to bring in lighting. Sound: audio mix was clean, voice over was clear and music bed was appropriate. Editing: your editing pace was great; a lot of shots integrated into your sequence with a nice even flow between shots and scenes. You have a great sense of timing. Story: this was a complete story; all of the elements came together wonderfully. The voice over sounded like he meant what he was saying, the actors portrayed their roles in a believable fashion, the different flashback scenes helped facilitate everything. It is clear that you put a lot of effort into this, and it definitely paid off.
Judge 1
Positives: • Very clever compositions & camera work- it feels professional, thoughtful and stabilized, so it feels professional! The flashback moments are really well executed, btw. • The story is well executed- using voiceover to tell the story really helps keep the emotional tone consistent from beginning to end. Really digging the chocolate motif being used throughout, which lends itself to the title of course- good stuff!
Improvements: • The ending, while clever, felt a bit loose - Felt like there was an opportunity to play with the border between reality and imagination. • The title font used is a bit too simple - ideally, every visual element, from the pre production to the final edit, should be deliberate & inform the story & it's aesthetic. The film is so well shot that the title used in the edit ("Bittersweet") feels rushed.
Judge 2
Positives: The cinematography and coloring are done effectively to work with the narrative. Excellent variation in types of shots and exposure is well balanced throughout.
Improvements: Narratively, the message was a bit confusing at first and did not feel as convincing as it could be. The sound design could be improved with variety and experimentation, as music distracts from the narration dialogue.
Judge 3
Positives: I really enjoyed the dull coloring throughout the film. The pacing is also really well done and doesn't seem rushed at all. Additionally, I really liked the framing and movement of each shot.
Improvements: The camera move at the train station bench could have flowed a little bit better. The focus is also off on the envelope towards the end, but overall I thought it was a really well done film.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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