Mother Knows Best - ID# 174
Neuqua Valley
Comedic Narrative
Entry Description
A child chef prodigy comes back for redemption.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/24 12:00 pm - Works well - Clever concept. Great cinematography overall, and editing was good too. The food shots were excellent. Needs work - To be honest, the amateur acting was a little distracting. We always have to deal with it in student films, but maybe there should have been less a focus on the dialogue so it's less apparent.
- 3/2 12:31 pm - Nice shooting. You used a good variety of shots. It was well edited. Good choice of music beds. I liked it. Cute concept. Amusing.
- 2/21 2:15 pm - Camera: nice shots, nice shot variety, nice extreme close ups of the food. Lighting: could have used more lighting in the kitchen scenes. It seemed like you just used the available lighting in the kitchen. Sound: sound was clean, music beds worked well Editing: editing pace was good Story: the concept was funny (having a young kid on a major network cooking competition and then following up with them years later). I liked the story twist at the end too. But overall this just didn’t bring the laughs as much as I’d hoped.
Judge 1
Positives: Nice clear story, clear character motivations, nice use of flashback to set the stage. Good surprise reveal that Mom was the "bad guy" the entire time.
Improvements: Needed to better isolate WHERE the comedic moments were. The last cutoff line, after Mom falls, of "Oh Sh--" suggests that the humor is coming from "I poisoned my mom" - which is dark. But, assuming this is the case - We need to milk that moments a little more; there's humor in the moment she sets the plate down - WILL she do it? Will she stop her mom? Will she fess up as mom is chewing? These moments move by VERY rapidly. Similarly, assuming we're aiming for the darkly comedic moments, we could spend more time on the early part of the story, as the judge tears into the child. That's mean, and darkly funny, and again, could be expanded.
Judge 2
Positives: concept was straight forward
Improvements: improve camera movement
Judge 3
Positives: It was really fun showing a younger version of the character initially, and then jumping forward in time. The presentation of the food in both instances was also very effective. Great twist! Very dark - didn't see that coming!
Improvements: I might suggest punching up and tightening up the dialogue a bit overall. Additionally, there may be a bit more to work with between the mother and the daughter to set up the finale with that specific twist. Maybe add some information that makes the daughter, and thus the audience, turn against the mother.
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 5
Positives:
Improvements: