Firecakes Commercial - ID# 245
Metea Valley
Commercial
Entry Description
Royalty free music provided by Soundstripe.com
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
Judge 1
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 2
Positives: Fun music. It has a cool urban vibe. If Firecakes wants to be the cool urban donut + coffee place, then you nailed it. I like the close up shot of the coffee creamer in the mug. I don't drink coffee but that looked very appetizing. I like the variety of shots and angels - Donuts, coffee, ceiling, customers, tshirts, etc. Generally you want to mix in close ups with wide and mostly alternate between the two. You did that very well.
Improvements: Editing: I would replace the Firecakes mug shot from 0:12 to 0:15 seconds. At 0:07 seconds, there is a great shot of the Firecakes mug, then the drums kick and and the mug is filled with coffee and creamer. I really like 0:06 to 0:12. That's probably my favorite part of the commercial. But then it goes back to Firecakes mug shot. I think it's time for a new shot there. Maybe a shot of some fresh ingredients, maybe a shot of a customer drinking it, etc. Lighting: A few of the donuts shots seemed a little bland to me. If it were my donut shop, I would want the donuts to seem incredibly bright and colorful and fun. Your shot at 0:27 seems like 20% more colorful than the other donut shots. I just wish all the donut shots had that same amount of color. To be honest, I don't think you can have TOO much color when shooting fun donuts (or most foods). I would either get some more lighting in there or crank up the colors in editing. Story: The commercial starts with an old-timey film effect. It was unique and grabbed my attention, and I thought that paired well with the music. However, WHY did you choose the old-timey film effect? And how does that sell more donuts? There's no right or wrong answer, but if I owned this donut place I would ask why you think that would sell me more donuts. Continuing with STORY... What is this commercial trying to say to me? The only story I see is "We are a store that has donuts and coffee." You filmed it all very well but I want a little more if I'm a MARKETING executive. For example: If you are trying to sell me that this donut place is so cool and relaxed and simple... then maybe the commercial starts with all these annoying in your face things, then we show up at this donut place and now I feel so relaxed and calm. Basically saying, "Come have a coffee at Firecakes if you want to just get away from all the noise! You can relax here!" Now there is an emotion and a feeling attached to it. Or maybe you start with a coporate-feeling coffeeplace (Starbucks?) where everyone is treated like a conveyor belt of capitalism and just being rushed out of the door... Then we cut to Firecracker and it's just calm and relaxed and feels like home. Now we are really selling a feeling.
Judge 3
Positives: I felt invited to have a cup of coffee and a donut. I also felt that the pace of your edit and the shot selection worked well for telling your story and inviting others to come have a donut.
Improvements: While perhaps not your fault, I felt it was confusing the coffee mugs depicted said Chicago and the location was in Naperville. It would have felt more cohesive if this matched. I did not deduct points for it. I would have liked to see more vibrant color. Everything about a physical donut is meant to draw you in. When you lack vibrant images you are letting go of the excitement or the wow factor that makes people crave a donut.
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 5
Positives: Really really really nice! - The film treatment is super rad, and fits the hip aesthetic of the donut shop really well - awesome job. - The editing is really really good - from the pacing and variety of shots to the smooth transitions, and timing the shots to the music track. Really nice work.
Improvements: - I would have loved to hang on the exterior shot longer, and to have seen a wide shot of the street this shop lives on, which I think could help give a sense of location and draw a larger appeal for the viewer to check out the donut shop. - Let's see the ice cream and merch!! One thing I'm missing is the ice cream side of the business, and more of a highlight on the cool clothing.