Metra Commercial - ID# 262
Huntley
Commercial
Entry Description
Metra Commercial
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
Judge 1
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 2
Positives: I really enjoy the story of how you are selling this product to me: "Cars are bad, take the metro!" That is a very clear message. Commercials should be 100% clear about the message, yours was. I like the dialogue. It is informative and clear. The text on paper would convince me to take a metro. I can't understate this: Whenever possible, TAG YOUR COMMERCIAL WITH A 4 second JINGLE! You did this, bravo! You want everyone in Chicago to remember your product, and a great way to do that is with a 4 second jingle... METROOOO the way to really fly... POW! Think about it... -We are farmers, dum dum dum dum dum daaaaa -Ba da ba ba ba I'm loving it! (McDonalds) -etc. I really liked your jingle. That was the best MARKETING aspect of your commercial.
Improvements: Sound - Commercials often have a before and after. Before = using cars. After = using the metro. The music you played was playing before and after. I would have NO music for the car part, then the music comes in when the metro is introduced. Ditto for the voice. The voice has the same tone for the before and after. It should have a distinct change... boring boring boring car boring car WOAHHHH METRO IS GREAT! Camera - The shots you got were great, but I would change some shots and add some shots. First of all, the red cars were as colorful as the train. I would make the cars as gray and as boring as possible, then the train is this shiny colorful thing that looks brand new. Maybe show the cars in black and white then go color for the train. Also, this commercial needs some humans and emotion. You made a commercial for a train enthusiast who likes looking at trains. Most people don't care about trains but everyone understands people. So it would be good to show people reacting to the cars and trains. Example: To show that cars are no good, show a guy sitting in traffic in his car, honking his horn, yelling out the window. Or show a guy freezing his ___ off try to shovel snow off of his car. Commercial watchers connect to humans instantly. THEN I would add some shots of people using the train. Someone sitting on the train smiling, laughing, talking to their buddy, on their computer getting so much work done. People will watch that and think "Oh wait... if I use the train, I can check my emails while I ride to work, I can watch the Cubs game on my computer on this train. That's better than having to drive my own car" The shots of the train are great though, I wouldn't change those. Just add some human element to it. Mechanical engineers would really enjoy your train shots, but the average Chicago citizen needs to see humans (in close up!) enjoying the product in order to buy it.
Judge 3
Positives: Your narrative was strong. It asks a question and presents the product as a solution. The shots and editing nicely advanced the story.
Improvements: The music was a little loud in the mix. I took away a few points because I did not feel the narrative was creative. We've seen and heard this commercial many times. I would have liked to see a new twist.
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 5
Positives: Nice work overall - really classic feeling message with broad appeal. - The story was cohesive - you set up the problem (bad weather, traffic etc.) and made the turn for using the brand as a solution - extra points for the rhyme schemes and alliteration! - The sound design was nice - good AVO, nice pops of train sounds, and if you had someone record the jingle - that's rad!
Improvements: - I would have liked to see more variety in the shots that are used. For a near minute-long spot, we see too many passing trains with similar angles - Think about interiors of the train demonstrating the comfort and relaxing commute, the charm of the instantly recognizable train crew, pulling into the station, etc. - I did a little digging and found that the tagline "The way to Really Fly" was Metra's existing tagline until recently - I would push you to think of something new and distinct for the brand.