In Tune - ID# 295
Shepard High School
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
A budding musician struggles to find a way to let his voice and his talent be heard.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/24 2:47 pm - A lot is done very well in this film, but there are some issues – especially in regards to composition and sound – that work against it. There are a lot of clips where there is simply too much head room above your characters. Sometimes a lot of head room can be justified, but in moments like 1:29, it is just blank white wall above the characters. J & L Cuts would go a long way in improving the audio quality. Whenever someone makes a movie about music, there is an added pressure to elevate the sound design, and J & L Cuts could have really cleaned it up. I appreciated the sound effect at 0:25, but the audio didn't match. I would have also liked to hear sound at :50, it is a bit jarring that we cannot hear them bump into each other. Overall, the story is strong - with a clear beginning, middle, end; a sense of true drama; character development; and an emotional climax. You are clearly talented storytellers. You should be proud of the human story you told. However, I would strongly recommend studying the crafts of audio recording, exposure, and composition more. If you tighten up these elements, it will bring your works to a whole new level.
- 3/1 2:56 pm - Story: We see the main character develop and create a song that he ends up performing. I’m not sure what his relationship is with the other character. How do they know each other? What is their relationship? Sound: You have some spots where you can “hear” the audio cut (like at 1:17, 1:26). You want to try and avoid this. You can use J and L cuts to blend your audio together. This is where you layer your audio track on different tracks. You then extend the beginning and ends of each track so that they blend into each other. Sometimes these J and L cuts may not work depending on when your audio starts and ends. At 0:49, it would be nice to hear some natural audio (Ex: rustling, footsteps, voices). Camera: You had great compositions within most of your shots! Something to watch out for is focus. At 0:37, the seats are in focus in this shot, not the character. At 0:43, the shot is out of focus again, but you have great camera movement here. 1:26 is a bit of an awkward shot. I see why you did it when the girl looks through the door. But in this shot here, your character has too much head room. This is the space between a character’s head and the top of the frame. It also seems like the camera is just slightly pointed down at your subject. If a camera is pointed down at your subject it makes it seem like the subject has no power. If a camera is pointed up from below at a subject it makes it seem like that character has so much power. I do like how we are able to see the girl at 1:37 looking through the door in this shot! You had a great pan at 2:15! At 2:55, your shot was out of focus. The background is in focus and not your actors. Lighting: Overall you used lighting effectively. Your last shot with the character on stage in the spotlight was overexposed. You could have used different camera settings, a different light or diffused the light over your subject here. Editing: The pacing was great! It didn’t feel rushed. You had some great sequencing as well! I like how we are given a montage of the two characters creating music. It tells the audience that they have some kind of important relationship.
- 2/23 11:44 am - Camera: camera shots were clean and showed a proficiency with composition. A few shots that were out of focus (when he’s sitting by himself in the theater, and again at the end when the girl is sitting down to watch his performance). Lighting: You need to use additional lighting whenever possible to enhance the mood but also to give your camera the best possible lighting. This will improve your image quality. The shots referenced above (in the theater) would have been much more impactful with additional lighting. Sound: the sound mix was fine between the music bed and the occasional natural sound in some of the scenes, but there were parts where I feel like you could have added dialogue to explain who the girl was. What was their relationship? Why did the boy feel insecure about his music performance? Editing: the editing pace was appropriate. Story: The story was clear, but it felt like the ending was built up and then abruptly cut off.
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