Broken - ID# 340
Highland Park
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
"Broken" is a touching story about a teenage boy who is at odds with his father and ultimately decides to leave home. The emotional turmoil he faces takes a turn for the worse when he goes missing, leaving the police to investigate his whereabouts. The film delves into the complicated relationship between a father and son and the impact it has on both of their lives. With raw and powerful performances, "Broken" showcases the struggles of a young man in search of love and acceptance.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/28 7:28 am - Love the opening shot. Throughout, really appreciate the gentle zooms in and out - it reinforces the emotion. The sound design is very clear and effective. I feel like I am at the beach and it is always clear what the dialogue is. The story has an effective balance between clarity and mystery. Excellent work! Such an effective and emotive short film for only 2 minutes! I would challenge you to make a 5 minute short film with more scenes, characters, and exposition. Hope to see your work in future fests!
- 4/24 2:42 pm - Story: There is obvious something that this main character has done that has upset his father/family. We do not know what he did, but I like the ambiguous ending that your film finishes on. Your story shows someone who maybe regrets what they did in their past, is now alone and is sorry for what happened. It’s an emotional piece that reeled me in. Sound: Overall, great use of sound throughout your video. Love how you used the sound effect and muffled the voices at 0:13 to transition into the next clip. Great choice! Throughout your piece we heat the sounds of waves. Great job keeping that in. It helps to hear that knowing that the character is on a beach, even if there is snow. Great job editing the sound at 1:24. You did a great job matching the sound to how it would really sound coming through a phone. Great attention to detail! Camera: You use a lot more wide shots throughout your piece, which is smart. It does show that the character really is alone and isolated. At 0:19, I wish the character was placed on the left side of the frame. Currently your subject is on the right. The way that this is currently framed implies that something/someone may come into the frame from the left side. In shots like these, you want to make sure to give your subject lead room. With lead room, you give your subject more room in front of them in the frame. Great job with the shot at 0:36. This shot really shows how alone the character is. At 0:40 you use an interesting angle. I like this! It’s different from what you would normally see. It also adds an uneasy feeling. Lighting: Overall, your lighting was used effectively. I think you were able to have balanced lighting since you were filming on a cloudy day. Going off of that, when filming on a cloudy day, you don’t get super intense lighting. But that works for your film. It shows that uneasy/sad mood and tone. At 1:09, the lighting is ok. It almost looks like the paper is overexposed, but not quite. The whites here may be just slightly higher. Something to look out for. Editing: Overall, your editing flowed well together. Your film also had good pacing. Great choice of zooming out in your shot at 0:07. It was also a smart idea to have this clip in black and white to imply that it had already happened. I like how we slightly start to zoom in on this shot at 1:38. You use this effect often, but it definitely works.
- 2/23 11:38 am - Camera: Camera shots were clean and well composed. Nice use of the locations; the wider shots in the outdoor location made it feel even more isolated, mirroring the loneliness of the main character. Lighting: The lighting seemed fine. Sound: Clever use of the opening sound; the parental criticism fading into nothingness. I liked your integration of the music bed with some of the nat sound at the locations. The phone conversation dialogue helped make this more than just a music video. Editing: Your editing and pacing were fine. Story: Interesting start to set up the situation and family dynamic, but it wasn’t super clear as to what happened, and the ending is also kind of abrupt. I wish there was more of a resolution to the story.
Judge 1
Positives: • The music choice & execution is great! • The contemplative, slower pacing works well with this type of story, especially since it's 2 mins long. And the minimal dialogue is compensated for really well with the visual storytelling.
Improvements: • Camera compositions could have been more thoughtful & unique- you used such a beautiful location, there are so many more ways it could have been utilized! • While I love the very short story which leaves a lot to the imagination, I feel like I'm left hanging to a degree- perhaps the stakes could have been raised a bit to give us more tension & suspense.
Judge 2
Positives: The narrative feels thought out and paced. The cinematography is well-stabilized and exposed.
Improvements: Narratively, the plot's structure feels weak due to the lack of characterization between the beginning and the end. The story could benefit from further exploration within the protagonist's mind to deepen the overall meaning. Continuity and match cuts could be improved with tighter editing, as well as variation in shot types.
Judge 3
Positives: I thought the framing of the shots were very good and well thought out. I also liked the music choice.
Improvements: Some of the movements were a bit glitchy and out of focus. I think there could definitely be more of a story shown than just a guy walking through the snow.
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 5
Positives:
Improvements: