Lehava - ID# 343
Highland Park
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
Rachel, a young Jewish woman grappling with the recent loss of her mother, is faced with the passing of the matriarchal torch while preparing for her wedding ceremony.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/28 7:32 am - Such a beautiful and compelling story. In regards to the sound design, overall it is well executed. The biggest technical issues are in the opening scene. There is too much background noise, I wonder how close the microphone was to the subjects. The exposure is a bit hot with the sun on the side of their face. I would suggest having a smaller aperture, filming in the shade, or using diffusers. The indoor scenes' lighting are deeply emotive. They are dark, but I fully support this decision! The extreme close ups both work and drive home the internal debate taking place. The photo-shoot montage is flawless - deeply psychological. The light tricks with the menorah are epic – love this scene. Overall, superb work. Excellent job.
- 4/24 1:06 pm - Story: This was a really well-produced emotional story. Your cast did a great job as well! We see the development of the characters, especially the daughter struggling through losing her mother. There is a clear message and meaning that can be inferred. Sound: The audio in the opening scene is clear. I appreciate that we are able to hear what the characters are saying even when it looks like it could have been a bit windy when you were filming! Overall your music and sound was mixed appropriately. Great addition of the piano. It helps amplify the story as the music gets louder. Camera: Overall, you demonstrate excellent camera composition and movement. At 1:24 and 1:31 you demonstrate a strong understanding of the 180 degree rule. Great job! 0:06 is a well composed shot here. Remember to pay attention to what is in the background of the frame. Not sure if the wheelbarrow on the left side of the frame was intentional or not. Just something to look out for. Great job incorporating different camera shots and angles in the photography scene. It reels me in more. Great choice in including the extreme closeups at 3:17. 4:04 demonstrated great framing as well! Well done! Lighting: You use lighting effectively throughout your film. There is harsh lighting on the characters at 0:07 and 0:09. I would suggest using a diffuser. If you don't have access to a diffuser you could even use a bed sheet or a sheer curtain. Another option would be to move the table and chairs over to the shade by any nearby trees. Or film later in the day when the sun is not so harsh. Great job with the lighting at 0:52. You managed to master the soft look in this scene. It gives off a soft, somber mood. This lighting reflects how the main character feels (frustrated, upset). Great use of lighting at 4:08 when the character grabs the menorah! Great choices! Editing: Your film had great sequencing and montage edits, especially in the photography scene. Great use of the flash at 3:21 to allude to the fact that photos are still being taken by the photographer. At 4:23, you stay on this shot for a long time. I can see that this was intended to be used as a transition into the next clip. I do think that it can be cut down. As soon as we see the reflection disappear off the picture frame, at 4:24 you can cut to the next scene.
- 2/23 1:25 pm - Camera: Most of your scenes were filmed in a limited number of shot compositions and mostly at eye level. A bit more shot variety would have helped, especially since you seemed to have had some really nice locations at your disposal. Lighting: the lighting in the intimate interior scene was insufficient. Even when you want something to look intimate or dark, you need additional lighting. You did not have enough lighting to make an effective image; you subjects were in soft focus at times, largely because you didn’t have enough light. Sound: the dialogue audio was fine, and most of the time the music bed was mixed appropriately. The dramatic piano toward the end of the film peaked a few times. Editing: the last shot with the menorah scene dragged on for about 6 seconds longer than it needed to after the main character left the frame. It would have worked if you ended with something visually essential, but the empty room wasn’t effective. Story: this was clearly intended to be an emotional story, and your cast did a great job. As a director, your ability to get the cast to do what you need them to do is essential. Well done. The ending seemed a little bit abrupt, however.
Judge 1
Positives: • Very, very impressed by the level of craft, wit & storytelling talent displayed here- you're ahead of your years & will only continue to improve from here. You clearly display a good grasp of filmmaking. Everything from the dialogue, casting, cinematography, visual metaphor, negative space, lighting, titles, etc.... Excellently done. • This feels very polished, thoughtful & coherent- you chose a straightforward, relatively simple concept & executed it to [seemingly] the best of your abilities.
Improvements: • Giving the lead character a stronger voice would've made this even better- she seems to merely accept her circumstances, but stories always grow more interesting when a lead character pushes back a bit more, takes more action. (Though, admittedly, there's something intriguing about the lead character- I'm sure you could dive further into her backstory if you were to make a longer film) • The conversation w/ the lead and her mother was solid- but it felt slightly rushed & missing some emotional depth at times.
Judge 2
Positives: The use of sound design effectively plays into the story; Camera work is very stable and consistent
Improvements: Pay close attention when filming outside, the wind can get scratchy; Variety of shots would be nice
Judge 3
Positives: I really liked the shot of the girl in front of the candles, the lighting from the candles looked really good!! I also thought the camera movements and framing throughout the film were good as well.
Improvements: Always remember to start any film with a frame of black at the beginning. The dialogue in the first conversation felt a little bit unnatural. The second conversation between the characters could have been cut down a lot shorter to make more room to expand the story in other ways.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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