Fowl Happenings - ID# 363
Lyons Township
Comedic Narrative
Entry Description
This is a comedic short film about a girl and a chicken.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/27 11:01 am - Work well - Wonderfully bizarre premise. Very creative and original, and good job doing a lot with a little. Nice effects. Needs work - Maybe there wasn't enough here to sustain the runtime. The end scene felt too long, and the intense emotions sort of came out of nowhere. There needed to be more buildup. The joke of them being friends at the end should have worked, but it sort of felt out of place. There's potential here - maybe a recut is worth trying?
- 3/2 11:44 am - I think you need to make a stronger case for the her breakdown aimed at the chicken. The various scenes need to be connected more to create a better story. It felt random. Good framing on these shots and a nice variety of angles. Well acted out!
- 2/21 1:32 pm - Camera: nice variety of shots and angles, some of the shots were shaky and slightly out of focus Lighting: the lighting at night was rough. It would have been better if the ending scenes were shot in the daytime to be more consistent with the first half of the film. Sound: the sound mix was clean, good use of music beds Editing: The editing pace was good initially, but the last 2 minutes of the film where she is confronting the chicken in the street kind of drags after a while. Story: funny story premise, but it might have been cool to see a few more quick examples of how the chicken is ruining her life, which would make the confrontation scene at the end more meaningful.
Judge 1
Positives: The basic premise - stalked (harassed? bothered?) by a chicken, and then making peace with it - Cool. I love the weirdness. The "they make up and fist bump" conclusion is great. So, it's easy to create the unexpected for an audience, which you did with the premise. But then, it's harder to surprise and generate the unexpected within that unexpected framework. The fist bump was that, didn't see it coming.
Improvements: -The opening scene (waking up late) was unnecessary. At this point in the piece, I don't know who the character is, so I'm unaffected by her lateness/timeliness. And then - did the chicken cause this somehow? Did it break her car? It seems to just be there... So, the "she's late" story feels like a separate piece from the "chicken" story. - We needed more "followed by a chicken" scenes before the confrontation. We saw it 1.) out the window and then 2.) on the car - and she screams. Then 3.) we're on the sidewalk at night, and she's super anger at it and then makes up. We need more stalking and frustration before the confrontation. - Why did they make it? Don't get me wrong, it's funny, but I don't know what moment in her "dialogue" with the chicken led to the moment of connection and healing.
Judge 2
Positives: nice mix of establishing shots and closeups good character development
Improvements: add a bit more dialogue for lead character to add to premise
Judge 3
Positives: Definitely a unique and attention grabbing featuring using something like a chicken as the centerpiece. I loved that! Also really enjoyed the rapid cuts between the main character and the chicken at the conclusion. Great use of music to support the mood you were going for! I can't imagine the chicken made filming any easier. Great work!
Improvements: While it is a short, the plot could use a little more substance. Maybe the chicken could somehow directly cause some sort of problem for her to reinforce why it is driving her mad. Similarly, you could do the same thing at the end where the chicken does something to cause her to change her attitude towards it.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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