The Ghost Bobcat - ID# 431
Back of the Yards College Prep
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
Five friends summon the spirit of a dead student after playing with a ouija board.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/27 4:46 pm - I really appreciated the cutaways and variety of shots. What sound design was added worked well, but there are clearly some issues with onset sound. Good job telling a story without dialogue, but I still wish I could hear what they were saying – it would have made for a much more compelling piece. Also, with or without dialogue, more attention could have been given to J & L Cuts. The acting was really good. Everyone's willingness and ability to make it seem like they were being attacked/possessed by an invisible force was really well executed! The camerawork was sometimes shaky, but the composition was solid. The ending montage/summary was creepy and well done. In all, very creative and fun, but the lack of dialogue really worked against this. Interestingly, because everyone wore masks, it wouldn't be too challenging to add/return the dialogue with ADR (automated dialogue replacement) – definitely something worth considering – I think it would make an enormous difference.
- 4/21 12:34 pm - Story: I think we miss a lot of the story because of the dialogue that we don’t hear in the scenes. The audience also isn’t able to form a relationship with your characters. Why did you choose not to include audio? From what the audience is given, we can infer that something is haunting these characters. But again, we don’t really get the full story without hearing what the characters have to say.Sound: At 0:13 and 0:55 we can “hear” where your audio cuts in your edit. A solution to this would be using J and L cuts to blend your audio cuts together. This is where you layer your audio track on different tracks. You then extend the beginning and ends of each track so that they blend into each other. Sometimes these J and L cuts may not work depending on when your audio starts and ends. When adding in J and L cuts, your timeline really looks like a checkerboard. I love how we hear the sneakers squeaking and the running of the character at 1:08. It adds to the urgency of what the character wants to tell his other friends. I do think that your overall soundtrack fits the mood of your film. It added suspense! Camera: Overall your camera work is very shaky, which does become very distracting (especially at 0:26 and 0:34). At 0:24 I would hold on this shot longer. Your camera work in this shot is also shaky. Overall I would recommend using a tripod. Tripods really help slow you down and help you think about the choices you are making for each shot. Shaky camera shots are used for intense scenes. You typically see this in action movies. Make sure that you also watch for focus. Some shots are out of focus like at 0:37 and 1:06. Lighting: Most of your shots were exposed well. There were some shots like at 1:04 that were slightly underexposed which could have used a light. And if you didn’t have access to lights, shoot closer to a window or in a brighter hallway! Editing: At 1:27, I appreciate the text on screen saying “20 seconds later”. It works but it’s not the best way to transition. You can use a cross dissolve here. Cross Dissolves are usually associated with the passage/change in time. The title cards at the end felt off, making it feel like an abrupt ending to the story. Maybe instead of seeing title cards, it could have been part of a new report or an investigation that we hear/see on the screen.
- 2/23 1:16 pm - Camera: camera work was shaky during the Ouija board scene, some shots out of focus. Lighting: some of the shots were underexposed, but I think it’s because you didn’t bring in any lighting. Sound: nice creepy music, but the lack of dialogue or a narrator made this difficult to follow Editing: the editing within scenes seemed okay, but the transitions between scenes and the ending montage with the titles just didn’t fit well. Story: the story wasn’t very clear and the ending titles didn’t really make sense. It also seemed like it was intended to be funny, but the category this was submitted to was dramatic narrative.
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