Under The Floor Boards - ID# 486
Riverside Brookfield
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
A short story based of Tell Tale Heart
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/21 10:26 am - Story: You did a great job retelling a story. I wish that we were able to see the full story instead of it being cut off at the end. I think if you had faster cuts/edits maybe you would have been able to fit the whole story within 5 minutes. Sound: Where your film struggles is with dialogue. It would be nice to hear what was said during conversations. That would give the audience a chance to form a relationship with the characters and relate to them. It was also hard to hear what the narrator was saying with the voice effect at times. I feel that the lower voice effect was not necessary to add in. It does not help to make a clear narration of the story. You do use sound effects effectively, especially at 1:35. The door creek goes along with what the narrator is saying. Camera: You had a variety of different shots that demonstrated your skills. You had a great shot at 2:21! 2:38 is also a great shot. Great job framing your shot within a frame! You have a great shot of the arm at 3:46 as well! Lighting:I think with the mood and tone of your film, you may have benefited by filming this at night and not during the day. Yes, there are some darker shots but most of your shots are still flat. Changing the time of day that you film as well as adding differing lighting into your scenes can help amplify certain moods that you may want to convey in your film, which in turn can help enhance your story. Editing: I think it was the right choice to make this a black and white film. I like how you use the fades between different scenes. It helps transition from one scene to another. Overall your edits were slow, but it fits the pace of your story. It’s a little disappointing that the film just cuts off. It did catch me off guard.
- 4/21 10:18 am - Love the opening credits, very unique, formal, and appropriate in style/tone. Overall, the film was deeply unsettling – in a good way. There was a clear style and direction. I especially appreciated the attention to detail in the SFX and makeup for the floorboard sene. Strong performances/direction. Nice job adding the sound of the "creaky door" and other sound effects. Adding more Foley throughout would have really elevated the film. Most of the shots were medium shots, which I didn't mind at all - it allows viewers to focus on the performances and relationships between characters. The biggest thing working against this submission was the ending. It is a lot of work, but when applying to festivals, films generally need to make new edits to fit the requirements. This is because it is almost impossible to rank an incomplete film against a complete film. This task is a lot to ask, so in the future, when making films that you plan on submitting to festivals, it is helpful to look at the festival requirements even before submitting. Still, a very impressive film! In many ways, I feel like I could see this in educational programming or TV. I would recommend posting the complete program on EdPuzzle or even sharing it with with EdVideo companies, such as Discovery Education, to see if they would want to publish it.
- 2/23 12:36 pm - Camera: most of the camera shots showed proficiency in composition, lead room, framing, and focus. The choice to use black and white seemed to fit the story. Lighting: some additional lighting was needed in some of the darker locations. It looked like you mostly used the daylight and available lighting in the locations. Additional lighting would have helped improve your image quality. Sound: the opening voice over sounded a little bit muddy, as if the narrator was too close to the microphone. The music bed choices fit well for the scenes. The absence of actual dialogue between the characters seemed like a missed opportunity, especially since some of the voice over was hard to understand. Editing: The pace was somewhat slow, but it fit the story you were telling. Story: the story worked because it is a retelling of a pretty well known story. The shot of the arm in the floorboards was very well done and helped make the gothic horror of this story more believable. It’s unfortunate that you couldn’t have made this film fit within the time limit, because the absence of an ending kind of kills the film. Some students make 2 cuts; the director’s cut and the festival cut. If you had picked up the pace of your editing or even cut out some of the early scenes, maybe you could have gotten this film down to less than 5 minutes.
Judge 1
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 2
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 3
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 5
Positives:
Improvements: