Carbon - ID# 515
Lyons Township
Seven Day Challenge
Entry Description
Carbon is a story about fame and obsession.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
Judge 1
Positives: 1. I like your editing choices and the variety of shots you used. Your use of L and J cuts for audio were seamless overall and how you looped the audio from the beginning and end were great for reinforcing how condescending the Carbon character is. 2. There were obviously comedic elements to this film, and they were truly pretty funny. The mouth on the picture, the condescending humor, the character selling his condo to pay for a photo, all of it made it a great comedy horror. 3. Your restaurant scene was shot unconventionally but it worked in your favor in some ways. By putting these characters alone in the frame, you made the line between them and their mindsets clear from the beginning.
Improvements: 1. The sound quality and mixing could be improved in places. For example, during the interview scene, it would be best to hear the audio from the microphones themselves and mix that audio like you would a podcast interview, because it is obvious that the audio is not coming from those mics and makes them seem like props rather than part of the scene. 2. Your lighting was visible in a few of your shots, especially during the interview scene in the reflections of the CDs and when it caused a bright glare off the bottom of the photograph. This immediately pulls me out of the environment and reminds me this is a fabricated scene. Be careful where you put your lights. 3. Referring back to the restaurant scene, one of the general rules of thumb is to start with an establishing shot and then move inwards. Instead, we don't see both of them in the frame until later in the scene, and since they are clearly arguing, this takes away from the fact that they are currently in the midst of a breakup. The shot-reverse shot would be better off used when the tension begins.
Judge 2
Positives: - the relationship that the two actors have when arguing is really good. I'm not sure if they got to play off each other but I can see personality come through. It helps to make the world real. - I really like the lighting. In the restaurant the light source is a bit harsh. I think it would be perfect if some type of diffusion was thrown in front of it. I really like the lighting choice when we see the descent into madness. It is definitely stylized lighting versers realistic but is very aesthetic.
Improvements: - Kinda nitpicking. When we see the talk show interview. There is one space where a CD is missing. It is distracting - I'm curious why there was a jump cut at 3:36? It was a smooth enough transition to where it doesn't take you out but its also unnecessary. My best guess is the beginning of the first take and the end of the 2nd take where the best so you decided to put them together.
Judge 3
Positives: The use of lighting worked well and the variety of color added to the characters and the setting. The depth of field in many of the shots aided in the piece and made it more dynamic.
Improvements: The piece could have benefited from a wider variety of camera shots and quicker cuts. For example, the back and forth at the restaurant could have been quicker in addition to the radio interview. The plot felt somewhat weak and could have benefited from more development of the narrative. More elaborate sound could have further helped to assist the piece.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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