A teenager who seems to be perfect has her own flaws that make her no more perfect than anyone else.
Positives: 1. The story premise you were going for has a good message and speaks to the true horrors behind disorders like OCD and the like 2. The variety of angles and use of time lapses was great in conveying the annoying amount of time spent of compulsive behaviors, so well done there.
Improvements: 1. The sound overall needed work. The music was unnecessary, the microphones used were visible and not mixed well, and were also mixed stereo instead of mono so voices came from different speakers. 2. There were shots that were unnecessary and sometimes cut off early. The school time lapse was not necessary to the story and the repeated use of the bathroom materials was redundant. It would be better to show these compulsive behaviors in more ways than the repeated use of toiletries and one scene of slamming the car door in a specific way until satisifed.
Positives: - I liked the dichotomy of this idea. Whats others think is considered "perfect" and how effortless it seems versus how someones behavior can stem from something else. From my telling the main hero is extremely OCD and the way you chose to show it is perfect. Great example of show don't tell. - my favorite sequence is the brief timelapse of our hero scrubbing the floor. I wish it was longer. Great visual.
Improvements: - I can see camera at :40. Maybe change the angle or find a way to hide the camera better. Once we see the camera the audience will become immediately distracted. - some shots are out of focus. Make sure to check before shooting to make sure the image is sharp and showing the subject that we should be paying attention to.
Positives: The story gradually built and kept the viewer's attention. There were several unique shots throughout the piece that added to the story.
Improvements: A few shots in the basement were out of focus. An audio pack with a bright blue light was visible at several points.
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